Monday, May 29, 2006

My Living Will

MY LIVING WILL

I, _______________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:
  • a Bloody Mary
  • a Margarita
  • a scotch and soda
  • a Martini
  • a vodka and tonic
  • a steak
  • lobster or crab legs
  • the remote control
  • chocolate
  • sex
it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.


X___________________________________________

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Happy Mother's Day!

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. That special day of the year when we make a point to show our mother's what they really mean to us. For some of us that is an easy thing to do. For others of us, it is difficult.

My daughter gave me a beautiful, very sentimental card today and some fresh-cut flowers. They are beautiful, and the card made me cry. For me, trying to do something for my mother is very stressful. I have a mother that is impossible, and I stress IMPOSSIBLE, to please. Trying to do something special for her will, undoubtedly, not be appreciated the way you would like it to be, if at all. I can't buy her the kind of card my daughter bought for me. That is truly sad.

I sent along something with my daughter to give to my mother today. I told her I would try to visit her for a bit tomorrow morning if I had enough time because I have a wedding to go to right around lunchtime. She seemed disinterested in the visit and only interested in whether or not I could wash her floor. Oh well...I guess we all have our own unique relationships with our mothers. I only wish I could have shared a relationship with my mother like I share with my own daughter and my son. At least I am thankful for my children and the fact that I know they love me.

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms out there! I hope each one of them has a special day!!

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Coincidence?? Strange...but True

Some coincidences are so strange that you have to give your head a shake and wonder what the significance is. Last night, I realized a strange coincidence. This is how it goes:

A number of years ago, a friend of mine left a long-term relationship and moved into this area, buying her own home (her first by herself) and running her business out of it. She still lives there and her life has been great since. Her house number is 37.

Last fall, after divorcing from a long-term marriage, I bought my first house on my own. My house number? 37.

Shortly after buying my house, my cousin, who just separated from his wife, sold the house he was living in and bought a new home to start his life over. His house number is also 37.

Then last night, I happened upon a bus companion of mine. I didn't know exactly where she lived, but I saw her going into her house. She just separated from her husband and bought out his half of the house they were living in. Her first house as a single owner. When I saw her house number, I think my jaw dropped. It, too, was 37.

How very strange that me and 3 of my friends would all be starting our single lives over by buying houses on our own whose civic numbers are all 37. How weird is that? The number 7 is a very Biblical number, and for me, a lucky number. It was a very prominent number in my father's life as well. If starting over at #37 gave Shawna a wonderful new life, then I sincerely hope the trend continues for the rest of us. So far, the foundation for that life for me is shaping up nicely. Some days it feels like it is coming closer, and some days I'm afraid it won't come. Through the grace of God, I pray that it will and that it will be more beautiful than I even imagined it could be...

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Little Kids Study the Sea

This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.
(Kelly age 6)

Oysters' balls are called pearls.
(James age 6)

If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all around you, you are incontinent.
(Wayne age 7)

I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more.
(Kylie age 6)

My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.
(Millie age 6)

When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans.
(William age 7)

I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant?
(Helen age 7)

Some fish are dangerous. Jelly-fish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers.
(Christopher age 7)

There is a lot of suckers in the ocean. The Mafia put them there.
(Russ age 5)

A Dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head.
(Billy age 6)

When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small.
(Kevin age 6)

Here Comes Peter Cottontail..

...hopping down the bunny trail. I hope you are all having a wonderful Easter.

Hoppy Easter every bunny!!


Friday, April 14, 2006

Who Said This?—The Answer

Did you figure out where the text came from? It may surprise you to know who said these things.

Finished guessing? OK, I'll tell you.

It's from.... Are you sure you want to know? You didn't figure it out? OK, alright, already. This is where it came from.

Song of Songs 7:1–13; 8:5–7
The Holy Bible, New International Version

This text is a dialogue between King Solomon and his lover. For those of you who don't know, King Solomon is the father of King David, from whose line comes our Saviour, Jesus.

Did you think you would ever read anything like this from the Bible? Are you surprised? I was the first time I read it, but it is so beautiful. There is absolutely nothing on this Earth that is sweeter than true love...

Yeah, I'm a sap with a soft spot. So what? I'm a lover not a fighter...

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Who Said This?

Can you tell me where the following text is from?

He:
How beautiful your sandaled fee, O prince's daughter!
Your graceful legs are like jewels, the work of a craftsman's hands.
Your navel is a rounded goblet that never lacks blended wine.
Your waist is a mound of wheat encircled by lilies.
Your breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle.
Your neck is like an ivory tower.
Your eyes are the pools of Heshbon by the gate of Bath Rabbim.
Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon looking toward Damascus.
Your head crowns you like Mount Carmel.
Your hair is like royal tapestry; the king is held captive by its tresses.
How beautiful you are and how pleasing, O love, with your delights!
Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit.
I said, "I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit."
May your breasts be like the clusters of the vine, the fragrance be like the clusters of the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples, and your mouth like the best wine.

She:
May the wine go straight to my lover, flowing gently over lips and teeth.
I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me.
Come, my lover, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages.
Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomengranates are in bloom—there I will give you my love.
The mandrakes send out their fragrance, and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my lover.
...
Under the apple tree I roused you; there your mother conceived you, there she who was in labour gave you birth.
Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.
Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.
If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned.

Stay tuned for the answer tomorrow...

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Sealed with a Club

I don't know about you, but I am sick to death of hearing about the protests of the seal hunts in Atlantic Canada. This has been going on for many, many years. I think these protestors need to become educated about this. Do they not know what an ecosystem is? God gave us an ecosystem and fully expects us to protect it in order to keep it functioning appropriately. This means killing animals for food, but not overkilling to extinction so that continuation of the species can happen. I may be wrong, but this is what I know about the seal hunt.
  • If we do not kill off some seals, they will become overpopulated and destroy the balance of the ecosystem. I understand if you put the current population of seals shoulder to shoulder, they would stretch the entire length of our country.
  • If they become overpopulated, they will destroy the fishery ecosystem by eating too many fish.
  • Clubbing them is the most human way to kill them, other than perhaps shooting them in the head. However, shooting can destroy pelts used to keep people warm and destroys some of the meat, which is eaten. Come on people!!! Seal meat is a common food in northern Canada. I hear seal flippers are tasty, but I've never eaten them. I'm not sure I'd want to, but that is a personal choice.
I get irritated by people claiming this is inhumane. Have these same people stood in a pet store and looked at the bin of feeder rats that are used to feed these huge snakes? Do the people buying them know that they are supposed to kill the rats humanely before feeding them to the snakes? Those poor little buggers are terrified while staring down the throat of a hungry snake. Wouldn't you be?

Are all these complaining people vegans? If not, do they think about how the cow was killed that provided the steak on their plate? When they go fishing do they kill the fish immediately after removing it from the hook or do they put it in a shallow pail of water and watch it slowly die? Is that humane? And what about those damn sticky mouse traps. Those are completely inhumane. The animal becomes stuck, gets completely stressed out from not being able to move, and then slowly starves to death. Are they concerned about that mouse? Do they think about the flies that get stuck to fly paper?

I am so sick to death of these protests. We need to eat, and furs and leather are the warmest articles of clothing for cold Canadian winters. As long as we are eating the meats and using the furs to nothing goes to waste and killing them humanely and within reasonable limits to ensure a proper ecosystem, what is the problem? Ask the Creator what he intended for our lives here on Earth!! He even asked for animals to be killed and burned to char simply as an offering to Him. These animals were not eaten. Will you argue with Him? Was he being inhumane and wasteful?

Please don't misunderstand ... I could not be one of the people killing animals. I don't have the heart to do it, but if it is being done for appropriate reasons using humane procedures and maintaining the balance of the ecosystem, what else can we ask for?

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Why Do We?

Have you ever wondered why we do some of the things we do? Some of them just don't make sense. For instance:
  • Why do we brush and floss our teeth before going to the dentist for a check-up and cleaning?
  • Why do we clean up and straighten up in our house before the maid service comes?
  • Why do we vacuum the floors before we have a party where things inevitably get spilled?
  • Why do we wear clean underwear in case we are in an accident because if we are, we will soil them anyway?
  • Why do we close the blinds in our houses to keep the sun out and then spend money on electricity or fuel to heat the house?
  • Why do some people take a clean towel each time they shower when they are wiping clean water off a clean body, but then use the same beach towel to dry off on and lay on the sand a few times before laundering it?
  • Why do we push the walk button more than once to cross the street when it only takes once to set the lights?
There are all kinds of crazy things people do and don't even realize how silly it looks or seems. I'm sure there are more you can think of, but it just makes me wonder "why?" we do what we do.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Dreams

There are many kinds of dreams. We all have dreams, be they something we have strived for our whole lives, daydreams about exotic things that may never come true, or dreams at night that re-enact our days or give us insight into our subconscious and our fears. There are some dreams that are spiritual in nature. Even visions. I am one of those people who experience such things.

The first time I dreamed of something simultaneously as it happened, my knees went weak. I couldn't believe it. I was 18 at the time. It completely freaked me out. Since that time, I have had visions of scenes at unexpected times about things that I am not even thinking of at the time. I've had dreams at night that have very distinct messages for me—messages from on high. Once it was even delivered to me by an angel in my dream. As I get older and my faith deepens, I experience these more and more.

In the past 24 hours, I've had a couple visions and a very spiritual dream. They seemed very positive, but also somewhat contradictory to what I can actually see happening in my life. What a way to screw up one's head!!! What direction do I think in now? What is happening? I am confused.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

What Language Is Spoken Here??

Can you raed tihs?

Olny 66 plepoe can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Azanmig huh?

Friday, March 17, 2006

Happy St. Patty's Day

Can you believe it is March 17 all ready? I'm sure I only threw out the Christmas tree 3 weeks ago. Wait...that would mean I've got a birthday again in a week. OK, OK...I don't need to get another year older that fast.

Today, my Aunt Hilda, the only living member of my father's family, turns 95. How amazing is that. She has had Alzheimer's for several years now, which is sad, but to live that long is amazing. And she is one of the oldest of the children too. She is 10.5 years older than my Dad was. I wish he was still here.

Anyway, I'm not Irish, my family is British several generations back, but I hope you all have a great St. Patrick's Day. I sure would like to catch one of those leprechauns and get his bag full of money, but this picture indicates what he always says to me. So...if you are celebrating, have a green beer for me...even though I don't like beer. Cheers to the Wearer O' the Green!!

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

How Good Can It Be?

Tonight I received a new gadget as a belated birthday gift. I got one of those "Miracle Chopper 2000" gadgets, which is a knock-off of the "Bullet" As Seen on TV. It is a chopper, grinder, blender, juicer, mixer, and grater. It also purées and whips cream. It comes with 6 different containers, 2 different blades, 2 shaker tops, 5 extra gaskets, a lemon squeezer thingy, and a recipe book.

I'm told it has already been registered for warranty in my name and is guaranteed for 3 years. Funny thing about it is this: No where on the books or the box or the gadgets is the name of the company that makes it. How can you register something to a non-existent company? Could be interesting if something happens to it, although I'm told the store will take responsibility for replacing it or giving me credit to buy something else. We'll see how it goes.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Dog Gone

Yesterday, the doggie I had since 1992 had to be put down. She and I cuddled up a lot when she was a pup and I was recovering from major surgery. She was there to cuddle up to me when I cried or was feeling down. She made me laugh, and sometimes she made me mad. Even though I have not lived with you for the past 4 years, I still loved you. RIP, Casey. The following is dedicated to you. Til we meet again...

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.

There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.

There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

Missing You, Dad

Dear Dad,

Three years ago today you began your eternal journey. Your hard working hands are at rest, and you reside in a beautiful place with the Creator.

Dad, I still miss you, and think of you often. Many times I want to call and talk to you. I miss your wonderful sense of humour and, oh...those deep belly laughs. We did a lot of laughing, didn't we? I'm so glad that you and I shared those moments, Dad. I will never forget them.

Dad, I know your life was not easy, as life seldom is, but you were too proud to let it show. No one would have known if you felt discouraged. It never showed. Growing up without your mother must have been very difficult. I'm not sure you ever knew that I never felt connected to Mom, so I can relate to that to some degree. I sure did feel connected to you, though, Dad. You were and still are very special to me.

You may not have had the opportunity for much education, Dad, but you taught me so much. You taught me about the cycle of life and how life goes on. You showed me by example how important love and laughter are in life and, Dad, I want those two things in my life so bad. I think you know I am struggling to get them. You came to me in a dream shortly after you died. In the dream, being a farmer, you showed me how important it was to plant the seeds correctly, nurture and care for them appropriately, and wait (yes, wait) for the harvest. And the harvest will be so beautiful. Do you know how hard it is to wait for that harvest, Dad? I feel like life goes so quickly that I can't waste a moment of it, and I don't want to miss a single second of it.

Dad, do you think you can put a word in for me with the Great One to help me get what I need soon? I'm praying to Him too, but maybe it would help if you asked Him as well??

I miss you, Dad. I'll see you one day again. Until then, God, please take good care of him. He is very special.

Love, Donna xo

Friday, February 24, 2006

Fear

Who doesn't have fear about something? If you say you are afraid of nothing, I say you are a liar.

There are some thing happening in my life right now that scare me. I'm afraid this and that won't happen like I want them to, and I'm afraid something else will that I don't want to happen. How do you get past that? Some of it I have no control over, but I know the results will either make me very happy or devastate me. The problem is I don't know which it will be. I know I have to accept either scenario and both will come with some sort of adjustment I need to make in my life, but I don't get to pick which outcome it will be. I'm used to making adjustments. God knows I've made a tremendous amount of them in the past 5 years in every area of my life. It's just that these ones are so very important to me, so I stand to gain or lose a tremendous amount.

I've faced many fears before only to find that the reality was not as bad as I had feared it would be. Sometimes we just have to swallow our fear and forge ahead anyway. I've done that before too. Right now though when it is something I can't control, I just want to curl up in bed with a teddy bear, cover my head, and stay there until the storm passes. If there was something more I could do, I would do it in an instant, but I don't know what that is.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The Original Computer

Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity

A keyboard was a piano
A web was a spider's home
A virus was the flu
A CD was a bank account

A hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived


And if you had a 3.5 inch floppy . .

. . . you just hoped nobody ever found out!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Another Hallmark Holiday

It's that dreaded commercial holiday again—Valentine's Day. The day when the price of roses skyrockets, restaurants and hotel rooms are booked to capacity, teddy bears, cards, and chocolates disappear from the store shelves, engagements will occur, and promises will be made.

Do I like Valentine's Day? Not particularly. I believe that people who really love one another should have Valentine's Days on a regular basis several times each month. As one male colleague in my office responded when asked if Valentine's Day would be special in his house, "My wife would tell you it's Valentine's Day everyday in my home." What a guy!! That's the way it should be.

Am I envious of all those who are spending this evening in the arms of someone they love? You bet I am. I've never had a memorable Valentine's Day in my life. Everyone else seems to get those, not me. Maybe next year????? I hope so...

Saturday, February 11, 2006

The 5 Ws and How?

I see over at Sam's Place, Keyboard is questioning why. Why not? Why is a timeless question. One that gets asked by every generation, especially the very young. I so remember the kids saying to me, "Why....but why?" The answer my parents used to give to me often came to mind, but I tried not to use it since it didn't answer the question at all. That response was "Just because" or "Because I said so." Not helpful at all. So, today, these are the questions I would like to have answers to:

Who can help me achieve my dreams? Is there someone out there who can help?

What will the future hold? Please, can I have a sneak peek?

When will I have what I need in life? Soon I hope. This uphill trudge is difficult.

Where will my children live when they are gone from here? Only God knows. A burning question I think every parent wonders.

Why do some things in life take so damn long and some things just won't go away? I wish I knew who the timekeeper was. Maybe I could adjust his clock.

How will life be for me 6 months from now? Will it be different or more of the same?

I guess I have a lot of questions about what my future holds and when. As for Keyboard's question of why, I think it is something everyone will always wonder.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Year's Best Headlines for 2005 [actual]

CRACK FOUND ON GOVERNOR'S DAUGHTER
[Imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[No, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[ That'll stop 'em. ]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
[Not if I wipe thoroughly!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[What a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[No-good-for-nothing lazy so-and-sos!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[You think?]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[Who would have thought!]

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[They may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges!
[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
[He probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[Weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken?]

Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
[Duh!!!]