Four-Wheelers vs. Horses

My son made me laugh at lunchtime. It was great. He had just come back from an expedition with his father, in which he went to look at four-wheelers. He tells me he can't believe his father and his "step-mother-to-be" (he hates that term) are getting a horse in the spring and taking riding lessons now. My son believes this is crazy. He wants to know who the heck wants a horse when they can have a four-wheeler. These were his reasons:

• A horse costs $10G. You can get a 4-wheeler (and a nice one) for about $7G.
• It costs $250-300/mo. to board and feed a horse. A 4-wheeler can be purchased for about $150/mo. , and the amount of fuel it takes is much cheaper than feed. Plus it doesn't cost anything to store it when it's not in use. They could even buy a car cheaper, since it gets paid off after 4-5 years.
  
• A horse lives 30 years and you are stuck with the same one the whole time and paying board for that length of time. You can buy 5 or 6 new 4-wheelers in that time, continually upgrading.
• A horse can only go so fast. You can sup up a 4-wheeler and make it go faster.
• A horse gets tired out. A 4-wheeler doesn't.
• A 4-wheeler is a pleasure vehicle, but a horse?

His final statementwas a reiteration: "Who in their right mind would want a horse when they could have a 4-wheeler?" You should have been here. It was hilarious.

Hope (continued)

I am always searching for signs of hope for my future. My favourite horoscope site (which is linked here on my blog) is often correct, even with the general description of what is happening in the skies for a particular sign. I know that it cannot apply to everyone and is more closely accurate when your place, date, and time of birth are established. Boy was he right with mine! Last year when he did a free personal horoscope based on that information, only one statement on the numerous pages could I say was not me and my life. It actually gave me goosebumps.

In any case, since I have been searching ever more frantically for signs of hope in the past couple months, I have been saving the odd forecast to see if anything is happening about them. Here are some of the summaries:

June 2 — ... nor need you feel that your brightest hopes are never due to be fulfilled. The planets soon, have a real treat in store for you. (I'm still waiting for this.)

July 12 — Something rather wonderful is taking place. (Is it, and I don't know about it?)

Week of July 24 — ... it is becoming clear that something needs to alter. The good news is, that can all happen smoothly, soon. (Yeah ... something has got to give.)

July 26 — Why can't you do what you want to do? Who says that it is impossible? Look, please, at your reason for feeling thwarted. Is it a truly convincing one? Or is it artificial; self-created, socially imposed or ignorance fuelled? (I am pretty good at imagining barriers that may or may not exist. I wish I didn't analyse my life so much some times. Really makes me feel like I will never get anywhere I want to go.)

And a psychic tells me this:

... And yet you sometimes have some great moments of enthusiasm, but they are followed by hideous moments of profound discouragement ... You often feel deeply discouraged and courageless, you have the unpleasant feeling you have lost control of the events. (Truer words have never been spoken.)

So, where do I find hope other than in the dictionary. I try prayer, I read scripture and horoscopes (contrary to one another, I know), all to no avail. I keep letting it go and telling myself I don't want any of it, but I know I do. Problem is I want some of it too much. If even just one thing would take a positive turn, I may feel hope for the rest. And so ... I continue to pray for hope. I really need a change in some way. Where do you find hope?

Hope

Hope is a such a little word. The dictionary defines it as follows:

Hope—an expectation that what one desires will happen; trust; reliance.

I offer another definition:

H.O.P.E.—Hard on people's egos.

What is life without hope? We all need to have hope. We all need to wish for or believe in something. Sometimes that can be so hard when there is something you hope for so incredibly much and it doesn't happen when you want it to or doesn't seem as if it ever will. How can you trust that it will? People keep telling me "It will happen. You just wait and see. Five years from now you will look back and laugh at how you are doubting now." Five years? That seems like an eternity to me. I only wish I could be as sure as they are. How can I? Can you offer some suggestions?

The Power of Nutrition

We all know that exercise and diet are important to good health, but do you really know all the important stuff about diet? Here are some secrets to losing/maintaining weight and good health. Some may surprise you.

• Diabetes can actually be cured by proper nutrition, as can other illnesses like heart disease, artery blockages, and bowel disorders.
  
• Choose wholesome, fresh, unrefined foods. (Refined foods are such things as white sugar, white flour, and packaged cereals. These foods have all the nutrition removed from them and rob your body of vital resources.) Better choices are fresh fruits and vegetables and whole grains. Choose organic ones where you can to reduce even further the toxins your body ingests.
• Eat at the proper times and in the proper manner. Chew your food thoroughly before you swallow it. Don't eat on the run. Your body is in flight motion and does not provide the proper amounts of acid your stomach requires to digest properly. The result is indigestion. The whole world works according to the rising and setting of the sun. So, too, your body. Your metabolic rate is much slower in the evening than in the morning, so if you eat the bulk of your food late at night, your body will not digest it well and your activity level is diminished so you will not burn your food well. Your body will store more of it. Don't eat if you are very tired or very stressed because your body, again, will not provide the proper acids to digest it.
  
• Never overeat. Your stomach is about the size of your fist and will expand if you overfeed it. Remember less is better. Eat less more often.
• 70% of your diet should contain water-rich foods. Don't fill up on water. Drink when you are thirsty. You can't cleanse your system by drowning it.
• Avoid the five "cell destroyers." (1) Refined sugar—rots your teeth and destroys your immune system; (2) Flesh foods—minimize or eliminate as much meat and fish from your diet as possible. They are full of antibiotics and saturated fats that clog your arteries and cause your red blood cells to stick together. This is why the vast majority of our society die from heart-related illnesses. The body burns carbs first before protein. Excess protein causes excess nitrogen, which in turns causes fatigue.; (3) Dairy foods—We are the only animals on the earth to drink another animals milk and drink it past infanthood. It can cause a high degree of mucus in the body that will affect many things, including causing asthma and other respiratory problems. This is why children have so many ear infections. We don't need milk for calcium. The Norwegians who are the largest consumers of dairy products in the world have the highest incidents of osteoporosis. There is more calcium in a cup of chopped broccoli than in a glass of milk. (4) Table salt/sodium—too much can cause high blood pressure leading to heart disease. If you need to use salt, minimize its use and switch to sea salt. (5) Tea/coffee—more than 2 cups of either a day can cause stomach irritation, high cholesterol, and can cause kidney damage.

The moral of the story: we truly are what we eat. We only pass this way but once. Why not make it a wonderful, healthy, memorable trip.

Blue Moon?

There are two full moons this month. Some call it a blue moon. A true blue moon, however, according to astrologers happens when the two full moons happen within a month in the same zodiac sign. A difference of opinion there.

In any case, everyone believes it has significant meaning. What will it mean in your life? Something good I hope. For me too.

Power of the Mind

The doctor of the future will give no medicine, but will instead interest his patients in the care of the human frame, in diet, and in the cause and prevention of disease. — Thomas Edison

Well ... that was one very intuitive man that Thomas Edison. This is exactly the direction that medicine is taking these days. More and more we are seeing preventative medicine measures and promotions for active, healthy lifestyles. All of these things contribute to better health.

I am currently reading a book about this that is phenomenal. I believe in the body's ability to heal itself, even from such things as cancer and heart disease. The basis for this is to treat the cause, not the symptom, which is wher most of modern medicine fails. One of the key factors in this rests in the power of the mind.

Think about it for a moment ... we can get ourselves into quite a state of despair by thinking too many negative thoughts. (I do that too often.) If the mind is that powerful in the negative sense, why wouldn't we believe it can be as powerful in a positive sense. There is evidence to prove that this is the case. People have actually cured themselves from terminal cancers by using the power of their mind. It simply involves changing to a healthy lifestyle and changing the thinking pattern to a positive, healing one. One where you really want to survive; one where you can sit quietly and focus on and imagine your body healing itself several times a day, until it actually does.

Hogwash you say? Consider this: if you think about something sad, can it make you cry? If you think about something happy, does it make you smile? If you touch something hot, does your brain tell you to move so you don't get burned? If you think about something scary, does it send chills up your spine? I'm sure your answer is yes. Therefore, your brain is a powerful tool. We just have to train ourselves to use it properly for good and healing rather than for evil and pain.

Is something bothering you emotionally or physically? Give it a try.

The Fruit of Life

Go out on a limb; that's where the fruit is.

OK ... can someone show me how to climb a tree? I'm afraid of heights, so this won't help much. I really do want that fruit, however. How else can I get it if I can't climb the tree?

Dating Services

There are many different kinds of dating services available today. My well-meaning friends make sure I know about them and keep trying to persuade me to use these services. They include

• Internet dating
• Telephone dating
• Personal ads
• Quick dates
• Singles clubs

Here are the reasons why I don't use these services:

• Internet dating—posting your picture and a bit about you on the Internet is dangerous, especially if it falls into the wrong hands. There are a lot of perverts out there. Besides, this type of dating is most often judged by a person's looks. While that is important to a degree, it is what is inside that makes the biggest difference.
• Telephone dating—This is the opposite of the Internet. Now you don't see their faces, so they are able to lie to you about a lot of things and you may not know the difference.
• Personal ads—Hello!!!! Placing an ad in the newspaper seems like desperation to me. More like buying and selling than the Internet and telephone dating services, since it is mixed with all the other buy and sell ads.
• Quick dates—In this type of dating, groups of people get together and have about 3 minutes to sit with a partner and learn something about them. The alarm goes off and you switch to the next one. How much can you really get to know about someone that quickly? Sure, you can tell if someone is a complete ass in that time, but you can't find out if they are really nice either.
• Singles clubs—This is probably one of the better choices, if I had to choose. At least you are in a public place with many other people. You could spend as much or as little time with someone as you choose. You have a better chance of getting to know someone this way.

I subscribe to a couple Christian Internet sites. One of them, in the past few months, has taken to sending me e-mails about a Christian dating service where I could find my "Christian soulmate." While I believe in soulmates and truly want one in my life, I think many of these approaches to finding that person fall short of the mark. Yes, perhaps some people are meant to find their soulmates that way, and if it works for them, great! Personally, I believe that God puts soulmates in the path of each other at the appropriate time, usually when it is least expected by both parties and sometimes under the type of circumstances you would least expect.

So ... forgive me my friends, but I just can't use these services. However, thank you for caring.

What Do You Believe In?

Do you believe in

• magic
• the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow
• leprechauns
• luck
• wishes
  
• genies
• angels
• Satan
• God
• the power of prayer
• Tarot cards
• horoscopes
• psychics or fortune tellers
  
• love at first sight
• heaven
• hell
• yourself

We all need to believe in something. What do you believe in?

God, I pray to you to send an angel from heaven to help the fortune teller properly read my Tarot cards so that a genie can grant me a wish and send me to Ireland to find that leprechaun with the pot of gold and rid me of this financial hell Satan has me. Then perhaps I may believe myself worthy to experience the magic of love at first sight as my horoscope tells me.

How is that for believing in something?

What's the Use?

Have you ever felt like there is no purpose to life? Like you give and give and get very little in return? That your needs and wants seldom seem to get met, and perhaps never will? Why? Why does this happen? I've been awake since 4:30 a.m. wondering just that. I feel like I am getting no where in a hurry. What is the use? I try to stay positive about everything, but why bother? Very little that is good seems to come my way. I feel like I'm falling into a pit. I need to find a rope to hold onto. I need something to look forward to.

Forward—Stop—Rewind—Wait—Stop—Play

Dreams are never destroyed by circumstances. Dreams are born in the heart and mind, and only there can they ever die. Because while the difficult takes time, the impossible just takes a little longer. - Art E. Bay



I have dreams, but I am tired of waiting to see them come true. I seem to go forward a bit, then stop. Then things go backwards. Then I seem to be stuck in a waiting pattern again. Then stop again. Forward-backward-stop. Backward-stop. I am so sick of sitting at "stop" or "Wait." I feel as though that "play" button will never get pushed. Sometimes it makes me wonder why the hell I am here. For what purpose? Makes me feel like a big "LOSER."



My dreams never leave my head. Sometimes they drive me crazy because I want them so bad. I am virtually helpless in making them come true, so how will I ever see them? My patience too often runs thin. Why am I made to wait so long when others seem to get theirs so easily or so quickly. I'm told that it only looks like it comes easily to others when in reality it isn't. Sometimes that is little comfort, particularly when I have been waiting nearly my whole life for some. Am I asking for the impossible? If so, is the impossible possible at all? Mr. Bay says it just takes a little longer. Please define "a little longer." My horoscope says things are really happening for me this week, but all I see is busy-ness. 



I'm told to acknowledge my needs and wants, then let them go. Give them to God and see what happens. Well ... I give up. It's up to a Higher Power now. My favourite line of scripture is "Nothing is impossible for God." -Luke 1:37. Now, let's see what happens.



How long must I dream? 

Busy-ness

Well ... it has been another busy day. When will it end? Oh well ... I won't complain because no one wants to listen anyway. Besides, I have a really hot date tonight. A great end to a busy few days. I am going to curl up on the couch and watch tv with him. I can turn his heat up when I want and turn him back down when I want. I can play with him all evening if I want to. His name you ask? Well ... it is LM Hoff. At least I think that is what it is. That what it reads if I look up and down the switches. Yes, my date is with a moist heating pad. All this work is killing me. My back is aching sooooo bad. I really, really, really, really need a back rub. Any offers?

What a Day!!!

What a day I have been having! It started out with a busy day yesterday that lead into a bad evening last night. Then I woke with a headache today and forgot to take a couple things to work. Then I had a computer that took 3 tries to start and then kept crapping out on me. I had documents that I had trouble trying to distill to PDF. I had about 30 interruptions (literally) in my work today. I was being ripped like a wishbone, my work is coming at me fast and furious to a point where I am being overwhelmed with it, and on top of it all I have to prepare for a move to a new building during renovations. This happens right before 2 weeks vacation when my work will pile even higher.

How was your day? I think I really need a good hug.

Being a Parent—A Tough Job

Sometimes being a parent can be the hardest job in the world. It is hard to have to stand your ground and make things tough for your children so that they learn important lessons. It is hard to see them be upset because things can't go their way when they want them to or need them to.( Heck, that is hard for me too.) It is hard to watch them make the same mistakes you made when they won't take the lessons from your own experiences. It is hard to watch them fall and have to pull themselves back up again.

When baby birds are ready to fly, the mother pushes them out of the nest and watches helplessly while they either soar to the sky or fall to the ground. We, too, must watch our children to see what happens when they are old enough to fly. It is hard when you want to take them under your wing and protect them, but they must learn on their own. There are two important things you can teach them—independence and responsibility. It can be a struggle.

It is only through trials and tribulations that we become strong. We must let our children grow strong in the same way, and they will, in their own way.

Most of all, being a parent is a very rewarding gift from God. As frustrated as I sometimes get as a single parent, I know I have been twice blessed.

Did You Ever Wonder?

Have you ever wondered where some of these silly sayings come from? I do. Look at these ones:

• Let the cat out of the bag (Who put him in there and why?)
• A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush (uh huh)
• Gone to hell in a handbasket (Who would want to go there in anything?)
• Bob's your uncle (I have an Uncle Bob.)
• He/she is over the hill (As opposed to under the hill?)
• 'Til the cows come home (Don't they have to be brought home? I didn't think they could tell time.)
• 'Til hell freezes over (That really would be a really long time, wouldn't it?)
• In one fell swoop (A fell what?)
• Fall off the band wagon (I haven't seen many bands play on wagons.)
• Being high on drugs is "being stoned" (David stoned Goliath and killed him. Isn't that throwing rocks?)
• Being drunk is "being sloshed" (I thought that was something you did with water in a bucket.)
• What a 'ho! (Isn't that a garden tool?)
• A sandwich short of a picnic. (They must be hungry.)
• A brick short of a load (How much is a load anyway?)
• Not paddling with both oars in the water. (That makes you go in circles.)
• Two clicks short of a clue. (How many clicks are in a clue?)
• The light's on but no one is home. (So...go away. No one will answer.)
• If shoes were clues, you'd walk on the cheeks of your arse. (Neat trick!)
• Held the door when they were passing out brains. (What door? Where?)
• Whatever floats your boat. (Water? What else would you put it in?)
• Absence makes the heart grow fonder. (Does it? I'm not convinced.)
• So full of shit your eyes are brown. (Wouldn't you choke before it got that high?)
• That gives me the willies (I know what willies are. Isn't this a good thing? I think it is.)
  

Do you know what you get when you cross an onion with a donkey?
(scroll down)









A piece of ass that will make you cry.

I've also learned today...

...that if you want a really good skin peel system to rejuvenate that old, tired looking skin, simply sit on something vinyl with your bare skin touching it. Stay there until your skin is really warm, then very quickly get up, not slowly. Instant skin peel. OMG! It hurts like hell.

I've learned today...

...that Keyboard likes to remind middle-aged people that they are half-way dead so they need to ensure that they make the most of the rest of their lives.

...that my son will learn not to eat greasy food and go right to bed because you wake up puking.

...that some drivers believe that the few seconds they have to wait behind someone who is unsure of the safety factor to proceed will mean life or death for them. No wonder we have road rage.

...that you can tell which male drivers don't pay close enough attention to their driving. You simply have to walk down a busy street wearing short form-fitting gym shorts and a tank top to spot them. It is amusing, however, that those with female passengers are very unlikely to turn their heads away from the road for fear of being smacked.

...that grandmothers will drop off their 8- or 9-year-old granddaughter at a busy sport complex and leave them alone for several hours. A young girl came up and started talking to me when I stopped for a moment to watch the activity in the pool. It was nice that she trusted me, but I was scared for who she might trust.

...that walking 4 km will make me burn about 170 calories, and the workout will make me lose about that many more and keep burning for several hours afterwards. What the heck did I eat for then?

...that 4 km of walking is over 5000 steps. Boy are my feet tired.

What did you learn today?

Going Backwards

Have you ever felt as though your life is standing still? That you can't make progress for love nor money? That parts of your life have actually retreated?

I hate this part of life. It is not a good feeling to have it seem as though nothing will ever move forward. Feeling like I am stuck in neutral. It is disheartening when I notice that old habits I took several years to break have suddenly resurfaced and I don't know why. That black cloud that hangs overhead threatening to rain on me just seems to keep getting bigger and smaller and bigger again. Yet I trudge onward praying that things will change.

I am told that I really have made tremendous progress in the past few years. I guess they are right. I keep trying to look at how far I have come rather than getting overwhelmed by how far I still have to go. Some days that works and others it's a struggle. But what can you do? Life is just like that. I guess I should be thankful that everyday above ground is a good day. It could be worse.

Human Touch

Sometimes it is hard to comprehend what human touch can actually do for a person. It is a very essential part of life. We all need it, some to a greater degree than others. Look at the premature babies in the hospital. Those who receive cuddling and human interaction of a loving nature thrive much better than those that do not. It is very hard to live without that in your life. It leaves a void that is nearly impossible to fill in any other way. There are many things that human hands can do, but the ability to reach out and provide a loving touch is incredible.

Fascinating Facts

I have always been a nature buff. No, that doesn't mean I walk around naked. It means that I am fascinated by things in nature. Even people can be fascinating if you take time to really look. Here are some interesting facts you may not have known.

- The planet Venus spins from east to west while all other planets spin from west to east, and it's day is longer than it's year.

- The grass under a tree never freezes, even in a hard frost. The tree acts like an electric fire giving off infrared rays.

- Blood type is determined by the presence of marker proteins on the red blood cells.

- A cat has a rough tongue because it contains numerous tiny, hardened nodules used for rasping the last scrap of flesh from bones and for cleaning their coat, since they are solitary animals. (Doesn't sound very pleasurable to me.)

- Dogs bury bones to eat later so that they are not taken by scavengers, a trait from their wild roots.

- Tortoises live in excess of 120 years because their vital organs don't degenerate with age.

Fascinating, isn't it?

Honesty

Tonight is the second time in the past few years that I have found an almost complete sheet of bus tickets that someone dropped. I could easily have dropped them into my gym bag, but my conscience wouldn't let me do that. I know how I would feel if I had lost them. I would be panic stricken looking for them again. That would be a major loss for me with my budget. I turned them in with hopes that someone would come back to look for them. Now I hope that the person I gave them to was honest enough to keep them for the rightful owner when they come back looking for them. If they decide to take them home instead, it is on their conscience, not mine.

Honesty is really the best policy. I just couldn't keep them.

Invisible Power

In my work today, I came across a children's science book entitled, Invisible Power. It got me thinking about how many different kinds of power are invisible. We may see the effects of it, but we cannot actually see the power itself. Here are some of them.

- a vacuum (not the kind to clean your floor)
- magnetism (love the personal kind)
- wind (please don't break any)
- the mind (Can you bend a spoon with your mind?)
- God (Whoa!! He's real powerful)
- the universe (Lots of powerful stuff there, too)
- microwaves (not the ovens)
- infrared rays (well...maybe you can see the red)
- x-rays (Take off those x-ray vision glasses! How embarrassing.)

There are buttons all over my house that have "power" written on them. Each one performs a different job. I can see the effect of pushing the button, but the power that makes them do the job is invisible to the naked eye. Neat, huh!

The power I like the most, though, is the power of love. Nothing, but nothing, on this Earth can ever compare. Not even close.

Ears

Everyone has ears, unless of course they have had an accident or some sort of birth defect. Ears come in all different sizes and shapes throughout the animal kingdom. There are animals like frogs whose ears are hard to find. Then there are those of African elephants whose large ears have many uses, but are primarily used to keep them cool because of the number of rich blood vessels in them.

Have you ever stopped to think, though, why we have two ears and only one mouth? Perhaps we are meant to listen twice as much as speak. I think I am good at listening. I often will not speak until I have listened carefully, mulled over the information I have heard, and then offer up my opinion on the situation. I don't like to say something until I know how to say it appropriately (or at least so I think I can). So if I seem to be silent when you tell me something, I am simply trying to sort through the information before I am ready to respond. I like to think before I speak about important stuff. Trust me ... that was a difficult thing to learn, but I learned it serves me much better in the end.

Two ears, one mouth.

Sleep

Do you know that polar bears are the only bears that do not hibernate? This has a lot to do with the fact that they are carnivores, where the black and brown bears are herbavores so their food dies over the winter. A polar bear can smell a dead seal up to 12 miles away. That's what I call a good sense of smell.

Wouldn't it be neat, though, to go to sleep when life gets tough to survive in and wake up with everything new and fresh and waiting just for you? Sometimes I wish I could do that.

Right now I am having trouble with sleeping. Sure do wish I could hibernate for awhile. I would love to have a cuddly bear to curl up with, but those polar bears might eat me alive.

Trunks

There are several kinds of trunks:

- Swimming trunks for men
- A trunk in your car
- A storage trunk
- A tree trunk
- The torso of your body is called a trunk
- A main channel or passage is also called a trunk


The most fascinating trunk of all is the trunk of an elephant. Do you know why an elephant has a trunk? I'll tell you why.

Elephants are very large, heavy animals, as we all know. Because they continue to bulk up as they grow, they have very little flexibility. If they didn't have a trunk, they would have to get down on their knees to eat from the ground. This is very difficult for an elephant. So they use their trunks to reach food both high and low and bring it to their mouths. As a result of not having to take their mouth to the food, their incisors grow incredibly long and are what we know as tusks, which nearly drove them into extinction by hunters harvesting ivory. Elephants can use this strong nose to smell, carry food and water, cool their body with water, and tear down obstacles. With training, they can even untie a knot with it. Bet you can't do that with your nose!!

Pretty neat animals, huh?

Phrases to Live By

* My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't! [Some truth there.]

* I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me! [Sad, isn't it?]

* Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. [I think we all know some of them]

* I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. [Having control is only an illusion.]

* Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive. [Ain't that the truth. Live a little.]

* Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. [haha]

* I'm not a complete idiot—some parts are missing. [No feedback, please.]

* Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? [Scary thought!]

* Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it! [Amen to that!]

* Wrinkled was not one fo the things I wanted to be when I grew up. [I'm beginning to feel like a Shar pei puppy.]

* He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead. [There are no roof racks on a hearse.]

* A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

* The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson. [teehee. Never thought of that.]

* HAM AND EGGS: A day's work for a chicken; a lifetime commitment for a pig. [Now that is food for thought.]

* Bumper Sticker: If you can read this, thank a teacher! If you are reading this in English, thank a Veteran!

Eggs Anyone?

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again!

It's possible that "Humpty Dumpty" refers to a powerful cannon used during the English Civil War (1642–49). It was mounted on top of the St. Mary's at the Wall Church in Colchester defending the city against seige in the summer of 1648, which fell "off the wall" and couldn't be mended. I have also heard it said that this refers to one of the kings in European history and something that happened to him. Which one, I don't know. However, this nursery rhyme has a different meaning for me.

From my life experiences I have discovered that sometimes you need to fall apart really hard like this—get it all out—before you can put yourself back together again. No one else can put you back together. It is a personal struggle. Others can offer a hand and a shoulder that will comfort you, but ultimately it is the inner strength that you find that puts the pieces back in place with a different look. This has happened to me on a few occasions. Hindsight has always shown me how much personal growth I have gained from each fall. It seems an awfully hard way to grow, but it sure is effective.

May your falls be few and your growth abundant.

I Believe ...

I believe in the sun even when it is not shining, in love even when I am alone, and in God even when He is silent.

Each of us has to have something to believe in. I don't know about you, but it is the only thing that keeps me sane by times.

Start by believing in yourself. I believe in you.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Here are some amazing things to think about:

Adam and Eve were chosen to be the first people to populate our earth, in spite of the fact that they ate that forbidden fruit.

Noah was a drunkard and didn't even know how to build a boat let alone an ark.

Moses killed a man and afterwards was chosen to lead the people of Egypt out of slavery.

King David had 300 wives and 700 concubines (that's too much PMS?) but still just had to have Bathsheba, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. So, he swept her away and took her, then killed her husband so he could marry her. He is known as the greatest king ever. He reigned for 70 years and is the direct line from which Jesus was a descendant.

A 13-year-old girl who was engaged to a carpenter was chosen to conceive a baby, not by her husband-to-be.

Howard Hughes was one of the wealthiest men of his day, yet he lived a life of a hermit, hiding from the world. Did all that wealth really help him?

Mother Teresa devoted her life to the service of others, living in extreme poverty, yet she died of illness that was not to be cured.

How many examples there are of this type of thing in life. Those who seem to have it all, yet endure one hardship after another. Those who may be judged by others to have led a less than "perfect" life, yet great things happened to them.

Life is full of surprises. It doesn't matter who we are, we all endure hardships and good times. We all see the people we love die and some of our dreams fall by the wayside, at least for a time. If we focus too heavily on the hardships, we don't see the good things we have or can have. We all have dreams and visions of our futures. Some come to fruition quickly; some don't; some do after much sweat and toil at a much later date than we would have preferred. We often have no control over conditions or timing.

I don't believe that our hardships are a result of any thing we may have done wrong in our lives. I don't believe that blessings only come to those who lead "the good life." No one on this Earth is perfect. EVERYONE has good and bad in their lives. There was only ever one perfect man who walked this Earth, and I would not have wanted to endure his demise. If crucifixion is the blessing given for living a "perfect" life, then I will pass, thank you very much.

There are many times when I have beaten myself up believing that I was somehow responsible for the bad things that have happened to me or that I couldn't see my dreams come true. Most of my dreams have not come true yet, and I have seen 4 decades so far. I still pull that stick out from time to time, but I am much quicker to put it away or hand it to a friend. It took many years for me to discover that blaming myself for these things is a trait held by most, if not all, ACOAs. It took several more years for me to believe that this just was not true. Good and bad happen to us all. One of the mottos of my 12-step program was you didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. This holds true for most everything. It is just the way life goes. Yeah, it sucks really hard, but that's life.

The challenge remains, however, for me to believe that I can actually have the things I dream of. My heart knows I can; my mind challenges me on that. The truth is it can and it will in the appropriate time. The same is true for you too.

I just need to keep seeing that glass as half full. I thank my friends who keep steering me in that direction. I'm glad they don't get tired of sending me there. Staying positive in the midst of pain is not impossible, but it is very very difficult. There is no question about that. There is, however, a light at the end of every tunnel. Follow that light!!!

Question #2

When?

A Question

Why?

Letting Go

I think we all know what is meant by the term "letting go." Knowing what it means and putting it into practice are two entirely different things. Letting go of something is one of the hardest things I have ever done, and I seem to have to do it repeatedly.

When we want something really bad, we will work really hard towards that end. It gets frustrating to keep trying and have it seem continuously out of our grasp. Sometimes no matter how hard we try to get something it won't change the timing in which we get it. All it does is exhaust us in the process. We will get it "when the time is right," in spite of our efforts to speed it up.

There are other times when we really need to let something go but we hold onto the pain it causes us. This often happens in cases of abuse against women and children. These victims become so familiar with this type of pain and suffering, that they are afraid they cannot exist without it. They become martyrs. Problem is ... the cycle tends to continue.

In both cases, letting go is important. We would drive ourselves crazy trying to make something happen or holding onto something that is unhealthy for us. Letting go allows us to heal and enjoy today. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

For me ... this is still a hard thing to continue to practise. So ... I will try to practise these things:

- Let go of anger - it is one letter short of danger.
- Let go of denial - it means we are not facing reality.
- Let go of fear - it means being overwhelmed by "what ifs" and can paralyze us.
- Let go of perfection - striving for excellence is exhilarating; striving for perfection is self-defeating.
- Let go of sadness - it keeps us from being able to accept love and joy.
- Let go of self-doubt - it means we can take care of ourselves and we should.
- Let go of timing (my favourite) - it means we give up control to make things happen now that will happen naturally and in perfect timing later on.

So, God, grant me the gift of patience to let things happen naturally and not hold onto those things that cause me pain. I know pain in life is expected, but suffering is optional.

PS: There is one thing I would prefer you not let go of around me. That would be that ball of gas rolling around below your belly button. Or at the very least, warn me first! :o)

Mental Telepathy

Have you ever wished you could read someone's mind? Would it be scary or exciting? Imagine what you could learn.

– What if your kids tell you a story and you wonder if it is the truth? If you read their minds, you might find out what they have been up to, but do you really want to know?

– what if you read the mind of the person sitting next to you on the bus? Maybe you would find out they are an addict.

– Perhaps someone is thinking they have an itch in a strategic place and are trying to think about how to scratch it without being seen.

– Perhaps they are planning a romantic evening with that someone special and are thinking about how it will all go. (Whoa! You shouldn't know those thoughts.)

– When a member of the opposite sex is staring at you. What are they thinking about you? Do they think you are ugly or sexy? Are they thinking lude thoughts?

– When someone close to you has a problem. Might they be thinking of a hundred different ways to fix it and you are saying to yourself "No, not that way."?

There are times when I wish I knew what someone was thinking. Maybe a part of me really doesn't want to know. Perhaps mind reading is actually a scary thing. I guess I should be thankful that I was not given this gift.

Happy Canada Day!!

Today we celebrate the birthday of our great nation. A country where we have freedoms that other countries only dream of. A country where you can see all kinds of people from all different cultural backgrounds living together, sharing the land. No, we are not without our difficulties and some racism still exists, but we are living in the land of the free.

On this day, give thanks for what Canada means to you, and for all of those who have fought and lost their lives preserving our freedom.

I am proud to be Canadian.