Farm Animals—A Response

Well over there at Sam's Place, he is watching cartoons about farm animals having fun. I laughed at his description of cows. He is right about them being called teats. My grandfather had a dairy farm, and I spent a lot of time with the cows and watching them being milked. There definitely were no male cows there. That milking machine might really have hurt that poor bull.

Chicken fingers and chicken balls? Who the heck ever heard of a chicken with hands. They were built upside down. Did you know that? They have to wear their underwear on their heads to cover their peckers!!! And as for chicken balls...a chicken is also a female. Please...I don't think they are androgenous. You better check the roosters for those, and you would have to check very closely. Bet you can't find them. Good luck getting that close to a rooster!!! It would give you a whole new meaning to the term "experiencing a pecker."

Kind of reminds me of prairie oysters. Who would have thought they had nothing to do with shellfish? Just the mere thought of eating those...ewww... Those poor bulls...

Thank You and May We Never Forget

In Flander's Fields the poppies grow, between the crosses, row on row...

We all have heard this poem many times over the years, but have you ever really stopped to understand what it means to you?? For many years, I hadn't because my life had not been directly touched by any of the wars. Having come from farming families, none of my family members were ever enlisted to fight. However, for the past few years, the reality of the wars and what they have meant to my life has become abundantly clear.

I don't like war. Then again, I don't believe anyone does. It is because of our fallen comrades and those who survived it and live the daily nightmares, that we have the kind of freedom that we enjoy today. We have the privilege of a democratic government, and we have freedom of speech. We have adopted an attitude of multicultural acceptance in our country where, most of us at least, treat each other as equals regardless of our differences. Yes, there are always those who do not and will not, but someday I hope something will open their eyes to the reality that we are all created equal and are all entitled to equal opportunities in life.

This year again, I had the privilege of listening to war vet who is a friend of mine, speak of what it was like for him when he fought in WWII. The horrors that he saw, some of which he will never relate, was horrific. I listened as he spoke with a broken voice and tears welling in his eyes of watching a young woman with a baby in her arms, starving on the island of Malta as they were bombed repeated for 30 days. Those 30 days he spent there he speaks of most often in his talks, and he still carries the emotions of that day. That was in 1944. He also watched as some of his comrades were shot down in a plane by friendly fire. He said he would never forget it and would never reveal their names so that their family would not suffer any further from it.

This year, I was most touched by something he said. He is of British descent, but he was fighting as a Canadian in the war. He brought a picture with him to lay on our altar. It was a photo of a German soldier who was either dying or was already dead, laying among the rubble of his plane that had been shot down. He reminded our congregation that this man, although considered to be the enemy, was a person just like the rest of us. One who had a family who loved him and who he loved. War is a horrible thing, and we must remember them all, not just those who fought for our own freedom. May they all rest in peace.

To those who are currently in our armed forces fighting for world peace, may the grace of God that passes all understanding be in your heart and minds forever, and may He help us as a world to finally find that acceptance, equality, and peace we all deserve. To each and every member of our armed forces, I say thank you, from the bottom of my heart. God bless you.

Top 10 Things Only Women Understand

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND

10. Cats' facial expressions.

9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colours.

8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.

7. Fat clothes.

6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.

5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.

4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.

3. Eyelash curlers.

2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One thing only women understand:

1. OTHER WOMEN

Estrogen Issues

WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-."
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space."
8. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
9. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

Pregnancy FAQs

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?

A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?

A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?

A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.

A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labour, but pressure. Is she right?

A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?

A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labour?

A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?

A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?

A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?

A: When the kids are in college.