Looking Ahead to a New Year

In looking ahead to a new year, let us take a look at how things have really changed over the years. The following are some examples. We actually survived these things and are the stronger and wiser for them.


Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack.

1973 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his to show Jack.
2006 - School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.


Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1973 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends. Nobody goes to jail, nobody arrested, nobody expelled.
2006 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1973 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by principal. Sits still in class.
2006 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. School gets extra help from province because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his father's car and his Dad gives him a whipping.

1973 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2006 - Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. Billy's sister is told by provincial psychologist that she remembers being abused herself and their Dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some headache medicine to school.

1973 - Mark shares headache medicine with principal out on the smoking dock.
2006 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Mary turns up pregnant.

1973 - Five high school boys leave town. Mary does her senior year at a special school for expectant mothers.
2006 - Middle School Counsellor calls Planned Parenthood. Mary is driven to a clinic and gets an abortion without her parent's consent or knowledge. Mary is given condoms and told to be more careful next time.

Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.

1973 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2006 - Pedro's cause is taken up by one of the governing parties. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. A
class action lawsuit is filed against the school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he can't speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from Canada Day, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.

1973 - Ants die.
2006 - Police, Security, and FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary, hugs him to comfort him.

1973 - In a short time Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2006 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in Canadian prison.


My, how things have changed....

The Year in Review

It is that dreaded time of the year again when the TV stations are filled with "Year in Review" programs. We have already lived through this year. We have seen the news caps. Why do we need to be reminded of all the tragedies that happened? Why do we need to rub the stupid things people did in their faces one last time to humiliate them yet again? Why do we have to create lists of who were the worst famous role models of the year?

The end of a year is supposed to be time to reflect on the good that happened in the past year and prepare for the good that can happen in the year to come. So please, don't waste air time rehashing all the stuff that makes us feel blue. Let's leave the past there and move on into the new year with a positive attitude. I'm certainly going to try that. How about you?

Bible Humour from the Mouths of Babes

LOT'S WIFE

The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, "My Mummy looked back once, while she was driving," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!"

DID NOAH FISH?

A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?" "No," replied David. "How could he, with just two worms?"

HIGHER POWER

A Sunday school teacher said to her children, " We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"

One child blurted out, "Aces!"


THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD

A Sunday school teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible; Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the verse. Little Rick was excited about the task -- but, he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.

On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Rickey was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know."

Church Smiles

There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country. "Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.

"Only the Ten Commandments," answered the lady.

*************

While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign...

"Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass.

Caution: Do not step in exhaust."

**************

Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt." Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about. He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."

It's Christmas!!

I hope you are all having a beautiful Christmas day!!

Merry Christmas to all my friends and loved ones!

Miz D

You're Not Listening!!!

You're not listening!!! I had to use those words this evening to a telemarketer. I hate those phone calls. I see the toll-free number come up on my phone and I hestitate to answer it. Tonight made up my mind that from now on, I'm not answering any of those. If it is a legitimate call regarding something other than solicitations, they will leave a message asking me to return the call.

Tonight, this was the gist of the conversation:

"Hello."
"Hello Mrs. G." (first of all, I am not MRS. anybody. Mrs. G is my mother! No Brownie points so far.)
"Hello."
Then came a big long speel about little angels, young children who have leukemia and have lost their hair. My heart feels for them. I brace myself for the next request.
"If you could help us out with a donation of $100 or $200, it would greatly help these children."
"I have no doubt that it would, but I can't help you."
Then the speel begins again.
"I know that this is a lot of money at this time of year..." [No...do you think!!!!]
"...perhaps you could help us with a donation of $50."
Again, I reply, "I'm sorry...I can't help you."
The speel continues.
"Perhaps you could help out with a donation of $20."
"I'm sorry...I can't help you."
At this point I am wanting to hang up, but don't want to be rude.
The woman continues talking incessantly about donating the money, how much it would help, the money would take a month to come out of my account, etc., etc.
At this point, I interrupt her once again to say, "I'm sorry, I'm not able to help you financially."
The speel STILL continued...
I interrupted once again to say, "YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME!!!! I cannot help you with money. I will pray for these children, but I CANNOT help you. I wish I could." And I do wish I could.
Finally... the woman gave up, wished me a good evening, and hung up.

Needless to say, those toll-free numbers will no longer get answered in this house. I hate saying no. I feel guilty because I believe we are all born to help one another, but I also know we can only help so much. If I won the lottery, I know I would help out others, but right now, I have other priorities, and I still continue to do what I can for others in non-monetary ways.

Love thy neighbour as thyself...one of the two greatest commandments. I try my best. God forgive me where I have failed.

Christmas Cookie Recipe

This is a great recipe. Try it…I guarantee you’ll like it!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Christmas Cookie Recipe

1 cup of water
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Crown Royal

1. Sample the Crown Royal to check quality.
2. Take a large bowl, check the Crown Royal again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
3. Turn on the electric mixer... Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
4. Add one teaspoon of sugar... Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Crown Royal is still OK, try another cup ... just in case.
5. Turn off the mixer thingy.
6. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
7. Pick the frigging fruit off floor...
8. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a dewscriver. Sample the Crown Royal to check for tonsisticity.
9. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something ... who giveshz a heet.
10. Check the Crown Royal.
11. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
12. Add one table.
    
13. Add a spoon of ar, or somefink ... whatever you can find.
14. Greash the oven.
15. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner.
16. Finally, throw the bowl through the window.
17. Finish the bottle of Crown Royal.
18. Make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
    

Cherry Mistmas!