Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids?

If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!"
You're never thirty-six and a half.
You're four and a half, going on five!
That's the key.

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back.
You jump to the next number ... or even a few ahead.
"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!"
You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16!

And then the greatest day of your life
You become 21.
Even the words sound like a ceremony . . .
YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30.
Oooohh what happened there?
Makes you sound like bad milk.
He TURNED ; we had to throw him out.
There's no fun now.
You're just a sour-dumpling.
What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're
PUSHING 40. Whoa!
Put on the brakes . it's all slipping away.
Before you know it, you
REACH 50 ... and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!!

You MAKE IT to 60.
You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE IT to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you
HIT 70!

After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle;
you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.
And it doesn't end there

Into the 90s, you start going backwards ...
"I Was JUST 92."
Then a strange thing happens.
If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again.
"I'm 100 and a half!"

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

Thunderstorms

Whatever happened to the good old-fashioned thunderstorms that used to clear the air? That doesn't seem to happen these days. It used to when I was kid. (Does that give my age away?)

The summers are so incredibly humid around here now that it is gross. I don't even like to see summer arrive anymore because of it. I do enjoy the nice days when there is a bit of a cool breeze and the sun is shining, though. Those are my kind of summer days.

Have you ever been in a thunderstorm in the mountains when the storm starts in the valley? It is an awesome sight. The storm continues to bounce back and forth from one mountain to the other, each time coming back with more vengeance, until it finally reaches the mountaintops and blows away. It is incredible. The sound is booming, the buildings shake, and the lightning is so bright and near.

I'm not afraid of thunder, but I don't like it when the lightning gets really close. I've seen what it can do by splitting trees, blowing holes in roofs, and killing people stone dead in their shoes.

The powers of the universe are awesome. Do you take the time to think about that and look at them with awe? There is always a power greater than ourselves out there. We just need to look for it.

It is also amazing to see that what follows the thunderstorms are the rainbows. So it is with life, too. If we are seeking that rainbow, what makes us think that we can have it without first enduring the thunderstorms or at least the rains of life.

The task ahead of me is never as great as the power behind me. Somehow, some way, some day, I will reach my destination. But God ... can you hurry that up a little? I could use that rainbow and a little sun.

Did You Know?

Did you know that those who appear to be very strong in heart are really weak and most susceptible?

Did you know that those who spend their time protecting others are the ones that really need someone to protect them?

Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are I love you, sorry, and help me. (I only have trouble with the latter.)

Did you know that those who dress in red are more confident in themselves?

Did you know that those who dress in yellow are those that enjoy their beauty?

Did you know that those who dress in black are those who want to be unnoticed and need your help and understanding?

Did you know that when you help someone the help is returned two-fold?

Did you know that it's easier to say what you feel in writing than saying it to someone in the face? But did you know that it has more value when you say it to their face?

Did you know that if you ask for something in faith your wishes are granted?

Did you know that you can make your dreams come true, like falling in love, becoming rich, and staying healthy, if you ask for it by faith, and if you really knew, you'd be surprised by what you could do.

But don't believe everything I tell you, until you try it for yourself, if you know someone that is in need of something that I mentioned, and you know that you can help, you'll see that it will be returned two-fold.

The Birds & The Bees—Modern Version

A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"

The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway. Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom, and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little pop-up appeared and said,' You've Got Male.'"

Crosswalks

I do not have a car, so I either take public transit or walk most of the places I am going. One of the sources of aggravation I've encountered, especially in the past week or so, are crosswalk lights that don't work.

I find it frustrating that if you are even 5 seconds late pressing the walk light button after the light turns green, you have to wait for another complete cycle of lights before you can get the next light, and that is provided that the change has not cancelled the trigger you pushed. I have had that happen, and then have to wait for 2 cycles before you can cross. This is especially frustrating if the weather is bad.

Then there are those that just don't work at all. You can press that darn button all day, and you never get a cross light. So what happens if you just cross at one of those places where the light doesn't work and you get hit by a car? Who, then, becomes at fault for the accident? You have to cross the street sometime!!!!!

Stay Out of It? Who Me?

Now, Keyboard, do you really think I am going to stay out of this one? You left such segueways, there is no way I can't take advantage of that.

First of all, I would give almost anything to see MouseGuy pull his laptop around on a little trailer with wheels. I can just picture that big, very masculine man pulling a little laptop around on wheels. Keyboard, if you see that, please take a picture and give it to me. That would be a picture well worth keeping. The day I see that, I will also hand him my purse to carry. He is way too masculine for that.

Now I am just wondering what a hard drive guy is? (excerpt from Sam's Place)

Hmmm ... I wonder what a hard drive guy is. Let me see ... a man who drives hard? OR MAYBE a hard man with a drive? Now there is a thought ... A hard man with a drive would be a wonderful thing to find. (teehee)

Strange Happenings in the Dungeon

Oh my!!!! MouseGuy has a skin remote control? Ummm ... hmmmm ... can I see it? Can I use it? How exactly does it work? Does it uncover the skin? Does it move the skin back and forth, and back and forth? Mmmm ... I could think of some uses for that? Sounds like it has tremendous possibilities. Ummm ... MouseGuy? Can I borrow it?

A-s-s

A suitable solution? I think not. I was on that bus today, as usual, and it was packed to the doors before it even left Halifax. They have insufficient seating for the crowds that take that bus ALL the way home. By the time I got off at my stop the load was still standing. That is ridiculous. If they are going to put inadequate buses on the route, at least send two at once. I mean really!! In my opinion, these buses suck a-s-s!!! Hmmmm ... I will let that one rest.

The Irish and a Way with Words

The following is an exchange of correspondence between a customer and the Irish Rail:

Gentlemen,

I have been riding trains daily for the last two years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip. I think the transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by
people 2,000 years ago.

Yours truly,
Patrick Finnegan

Dear Mr. Finnegan,

We received your letter with reference to the shortcomings of our service and believe you are somewhat confused in your history. The only mode of transportation 2,000 years ago was by foot.

Sincerely,
Iarnrod Eireann.

Gentlemen,

I am in receipt of your letter, and I think you are the ones who are confused in your history. If you will refer to the Bible, Book of David, 9th Chapter, you will find that Balaam rode to town on his ass. That, gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do on your train in the last two years!!!!!!!

Yours truly,
Patrick Finnegan

Dreams

What exactly are dreams? There are many kinds of dreams.

• daydreams
• night dreams
• nightmares
• halluciations
  
• hopes
  
• aspirations
• wet dreams (though I doubt many people would admit to having these ones)
  

I've lived a live full of dreams and aspirations. My greatest dreams, however, are my biggest challenges. I oftentimes find myself wondering why on Earth I ever dreamed something in particular might be possible, especially during times when it seems utterly unattainable ... that it will NEVER happen.

I'm told the heavenly alignment at the end of next week speaks volumes about unattainable dreams finally becoming more attainable, that something may shift, something may change. I struggle to hold onto hope. I have wanted to throw in the towel hundreds of times over the years, but my faith keeps pulling me back up and renewing my hopes. Each time I begin to believe that something will never happen, that I am not worthy of something, that I am not good enough for or deserving of something, I receive a sign from above that tells me to hold on tight and not let go of hope. That what I need is coming to me.

I know this can be true ... so why do I feel that no one wants to take a risk with me. It feels as though I am just not good enough for anyone. So ... what is wrong with me? This dreamweaver feels as though she can't possibly weave one more dream...

I'm Back ...

Hello there! I am finally back after my move. What a day it was. It went very well, though. I am a highly-organized person so I had boxes marked appropriately and knew where I wanted things put before we even started.

We began at 9:30 a.m. on Friday morning. We had a lot of laughs, and I discovered I had some good friends and wonderful children. (I only got cranky once.) Both my children were there, and my daughter's boyfriend. One of my son's friends even showed up near the end and pitched in to help. I fed everyone lunch before we unpacked the truck. By 4 p.m., the truck was empty and my apartment looked like a bomb went off. I was so tired, I didn't know where to start and just wanted to cry.

However, by the next morning, I was well underway with the unpacking, while Aliant came to hook up my phone and my Internet (Or so we thought. It took until yesterday for them to find and fix the problem with that.). By noon, I had unpacked everything I needed for my short stay here and only had to hook up my computer.

The afternoon was spent at the old apartment cleaning it thoroughly. I'm sure they found it cleaner than when it was given to me. I tend to be a little fanatical about cleaning, simply because of my allergies/sensitivities. I clean things people seldom think about cleaning, like the top of the hot water tank, dusting the mouldings and trim in every room, cleaning off the dryer vent hose, etc. I had to learn to clean like that because I am allergic to dust, mould, and mildew. Not good for a NS climate.

Anyway ... by evening Saturday night I had to pick up a few groceries because the store was closed on Sunday. I also needed a plug for my tub, because there wasn't one and I needed to soak in a hot tub soooooo bad. My daughter and her boyfriend drove me there, which is only around the corner, because I could hardly walk. My legs were so tired and going numb. I am missing the last two discs in my back, so being on my feet for extended periods of time tires my legs out. I was a pitiful sight. I had to take acetaminophen to sleep Friday and Saturday nights because I was aching so bad.

Long story short—I was completely moved, unpacked, and cleaned out of the other apartment within 48 hours. It was a lot of hard work. I told my daughter that once I move into the house I bought in September, I am never moving again unless I have a partner in my life who will share the responsibilities. It is too much hard work for one person to do all the packing, cleaning, and unpacking. I'm still tired ... Can I take a nap now?

Moving

It is 10:15 p.m., and I am almost completely packed up to move tomorrow. It has been an exhausting day. At least I had a little help today to get it done. I start my move at 9:30 a.m. tomorrow, so my computer will be out of commission for a couple days. I will be back as soon as I can. This computer is my lifeline to the outside world. Heaven forbid I be without it for long.

Keep up the good work guys. You are keeping me amused over there in the dungeon. Hope to have some e-mails and blogs to read when I can get online again. See you soon!! Take care.

Screwing ... and stuff

Screwing

Boy, when I screw something, I do it well. I put things exactly where they should be. I put those firm things in straight and screwed the hell out of them until they were in as far as they could go. My arms are really tired from all the grabbing and twisting, my legs and back are tired from doing it standing up. Everything I have screwed since I moved into this condo was done very tight and well placed. So well in fact ... that the paint and gyproc paper has come off of most of the things I have removed. You see ... I am taking down those things I bought before I move. What a task!!! (teehee)

MouseGuy and Keyboard

It is so good to see you guys up to your antics again. I'm so pleased that you are having fun while you work. I love being amused by you two. Keyboard is doubleloading shredding paper into the recycling bin these days, I see. I guess he wants to make sure it will all fit in ... just right. You know, Keyboard, it will actually fit better if you flatten out each piece first and stack it neatly. Give that a try.

Summer Weather

Now today is my kind of summer day. The air has a bit of a cool breeze and the sun is shining. You can take that hot, ugly weather like we had on the weekend and send it away somewhere. I think that is why I prefer spring and fall. The weather is not so hot then. I wouldn't mind the heat quite so much if I lived on a lake and could go swimming to cool off. Not having that option, nor a pool, I think I still prefer fall best of all.

Blonde Moments

Well ... I guess I'm not the only one who has blonde moments.

It appears that Keyboard waters artificial flowers and MouseGuy locks his car with the windows down. And I have moments when they tell me "Duh"?

I think what they forgot to tell me was that actually dye their hair to cover the blonde roots!!! Thanks for making me feel right at home guys. Keep up the good work. You'll certainly give me something to write about. *rubs her hands together and smiles a devilish smile*

We Can All Make Progress .... Yay!!

This is a quote from cainer.com for all horoscopes for the week beginning Saturday, June 25.

Your week ahead

Prepare for some stunning sights in the sky. Each evening, just after sunset, you can see Saturn, Mercury and Venus, all close together for a while before they sink under the western horizon. This rare triple conjunction bodes brilliantly well for all with emotional issues to resolve, important conversations to hold or difficult decisions to make. Higher in the sky, Jupiter is also clearly visible. It is currently in opposition to Mars. Stay up long enough and you'll see it drift slowly west along the Arc of the zodiac till it too, sets in the west just before dawn. As it does so, Mars rises up in the East. Jupiter is the planet of hope and faith, justice and joy, exuberance and extravagance. Mars is the planet of anger and aggression but also of determination and direction, passion and priority. If you've got a mission now, you'll make great progress as long as you don't become too gung-ho.

Sounds like it could be an interesting week, n'est pas? Let's see what transpires.

The Price I Pay ...

Well, I came home sick from work again today. I escaped the whole winter without being sick and June hits me like a ton of bricks. My head feels like it will explode.

Well ... when I came home, I laid down to go to sleep, and it was not long before I was dreaming. Now you guys are gonna laugh your asses off at this dream. I can hear you now. For some unknown reason, I was applying for a job working with Keyboard and MouseGuy. MouseGuy was interviewing me. I was so sick it was hard to understand the questions, but he was very patient and kind to me and repeated them as I needed him to. I excused myself to blow my nose, and every time I did, cold water ran out of my right ear. That was friggin' weird. In my dream, I was frightened, afraid that my brain was turning to mush and pouring out of my head. I looked in the mirror to make sure my head was not caving in and to try to focus my eyes to see if I was losing my sight. Nope ... I could still see, I could still hear, my head was not shrinking, but perhaps I should see a doctor.

Needless to say, I woke up laughing at the ridiculousness of the dream, and at the same time recognizing that my ear was aching a bit from my sinuses. I assume the dream took place in the scenario it did because I checked your blogs before I went to bed to see if there was any new news on them. Sheesh ... isn't it strange how our daily lives and thoughts present themselves in a dream. This one was the price I paid for reading these blogs ...

Hope you got a good laugh guys. I'm sure I'll hear about it. (teehee)

Busy ...

This is turning out to be one busy week and it is only Tuesday. I'm sure you have heard, over the years, many of the sayings about being busy. Here are some of the ones I have heard and/or used.

• Busy as a bee.
• Busy as all get-out.
• Busy as a beaver.
• Busy as a hound in flea season.
• Busier than a one-armed paperhanger with crabs.
• Busier than a blind gay at a weeny roast.

Do you have any to add?

Life Span Explained

On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of 20 years."

The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me 10 years and I'll give you back the other 10." So God agreed.

On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a 20-year life span."

The monkey said, "How boring. Monkey tricks for 20 years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back 10, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" And God agreed.

On the third day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves, and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of 60 years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for 60 years. Let me have 20 and I'll give back the other 40." And God agreed again.

On the forth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give you 20 years."

Man said, "What? Only 20 years! Tell you what, I'll take my 20, and the 40 the cow gave back and the 10 the monkey gave back and the 10 the dog gave back ... that makes 80, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."

So that is why the first 20 years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; for the next 40 years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next 10 years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last 10 years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

Father's Day

Well ... it is Father's Day again. I don't have any father figures in my life to celebrate it with, but I do hope that all you fathers out there have a very special day.

MouseGuy and Keyboard, I hope your day is very special. Have a good one!!!

Welcome Back!!

Welcome back, MouseGuy! We have missed you. I see you read my blog yesterday. This is good. I can't wait to see the antics you guys get into again. Sometimes I wish I were a fly on the wall. I'll look forward to hearing all about them.

Keyboard, guess you will have to share that website info about the bananas with MouseGuy. Perhaps you can actually convert him. Good luck!!

I'm glad the two of you are back together in the dungeon. Have fun while you work. It's the only way to go!!!!!