House Hunting

House hunting is a very frustrating task. It is hard to find what I am looking for. I seem to have everyone pulling me in different directions. I am trying to block them out and look for what I feel fits the bill, but it is hard. I'm the one who will be there most, so it has to work well for me.

I think I would sooner hunt for Easter eggs. They might be easier to find, and they'd be cheaper too. Wish me luck. It has to surface very soon.

Hoppy Easter!!

There once was a rabbit named Rex
Whose favourite pasttime was to have sex
He thumped all the bunnies
With cute little cunnies
But no diseases did he expect

Then one day he tried to pee
And in so much pain was he
That he zipped up his jeans
And without being seen
Off to the doctor went he

The many tests they ran did show
That his white blood cell count was low
The infection he caught
Was so terribly wrought
His life it would take from him slow

Such a valuable lesson he learned
Was that for sex to always discern
That when in the mood
Don't f*** the whole brood
Or you so terribly may get burned

Rabbits do it quietly because they have cotton balls!!!

I hope the Easter Bunny was good to you!!!

Long and Short

Keyboard seems to be having trouble with measuring. He doesn't know what the difference is between long and short. I think that is a male thing. They always think 6" is longer than it really is. (teehee)

Keyboard, a weekend is only 2 days long, always. A week is 5 days long, always. We may have holidays that fall on a weekday just prior to or immediately following a weekend, but that doesn't make the weekend any longer than it ever is. It just means we get to stay home an extra day.

A day is a day.
A holiday is a holiday.
A weekend is a weekend.
And 6 inches really is only 6 inches.
You can try all you want to stretch it, just like these sentences.

Just think about it the right way, and you can make anything bigger than it really is!!! It's all in the imagination.

How Long Is Long?: A Response

Over at Sam's Place, Keyboard is trying to figure out the definition of long. That brings a visual to mind that we will not speak of here, but I am sure each and every person's definition is different. I suggest we could ask that of the following people:

• The mother who has just given birth only to be told that something is wrong with her baby and tests will be run. The results will be back to her as soon as possible. What a long wait that will be.
• The person who has to go to the bathroom really bad only to find that someone just got in the shower and there is not another bathroom. How long can you comfortably hold it.
  
• The son who has just been told that his father, who lives 1000 miles away, is on his deathbed and he should hurry home to be with him. How long that time must seem to get there.
• The woman who is at home raising her children while her husband is overseas fighting in a war. How long that wait must be to find out if he will arrive back home safely.
• The parents whose child is lost in the woods and a search and rescue team are trying to find him. How long a search that must seem.
• The person waiting in the emergency room knowing there is something terribly wrong with them and 15 people are ahead of them.
  

For me personally, I've been waiting my whole life for true love. I can definitely define "long" for you when it comes to this waiting time. It is an excruciatingly painful wait. I can only trust that when it does come, it will be so incredible that it was worth the wait.

Good Friday

Today is Good Friday. A day of reflection. I just came from a service where our praise band played. It is rather unusual for a whole band to play during a time of vigil, but we have been asked to do this for the past 4 years. The theme today was about forgive of sins, and the songs we sang fit in very well with that theme and the Easter theme.

My reflections bring these things to mind:

• How often we inadvertently hurt someone and ask for forgiveness. Do they accept our apology or prefer to hold a grudge? Do we or can we accept their forgiveness? Sometimes I think that accepting forgiveness for what we have done is harder than accepting apologies from those who have hurt us.

• How many times do others impose their guilts on us because they judge us by what their beliefs are? Do we accept that guilt or do we know that it is not ours to carry?

• Do we believe these things to be wrong; something for which we need forgiveness? We all do them.
• Make illegal copies of computer programs and install and use them on our computer.
• Buy one legal copy of a computer program and put it on more than one computer, and loan it to our friends.
• Download songs from the Internet without paying for them.
• Make copies of CDs and tapes that we or a friend have purchased.
• Plagerize another person's work.
• Add pictures to our web pages or other published works for which we have not received permission.
• Taken a pen or other stationery items from the office for our personal use.
• Printed something personal from the work printer.
• Checked our home e-mail or do a web search for something personal on work time.
• Knowingly pick up something that doesn't belong to us and keep it because we don't know who the owner is and don't want to look for them.

We are all guilty of sin of one sort or another. As human beings not one of us is perfect. I believe that we are meant to be the best person we can be, and that we first of all need to accept and love who we are as individuals. Then we can begin to become better and more loving people to each other. I believe that we are all capable of being forgiven. The question is, Are we willing to accept that we are forgiven or do we want to carry around a big stick to keep beating ourselves up with as our own form of penitence? Do we keep ourselves imprisoned and believe we are not worthy of good because of any wrong we may have done or perceived to have done?

There surely is a lot of reflection that can be done on this Holiest of days. I will sign off with this thought:

When you throw your burdens into the lake of forgiveness, don't go fishing!!

Oh My Goodness!!

I knew this would be my year of transition, but these past two weeks have been phenomenal. Things are happening faster than anything has ever happened for me. I know that the things that have come are only material things, but I feel like they are the base that needed to be started for the rest to come. This is a summary of what has happened in the past two weeks:

• A big printer company finally validated to me that I had a hardware problem with a printer I bought 6 years ago and replaced it with an updated model that is even better than what I had. They wanted to restore my faith in their products and service. That they did!!
• A relative gave me an unexpected monetary gift that put me in a very good financial position for buying the house I need.
• Someone gave me their digital camera when they updated to a new one.
• My son updated his cell phone and I ended up with the old one.
• When my son updated his cell phone, he got a free portable CD-player that also plays MP3s. He already has these things, so he gave it to me.
• I found out the new computer armoire I bought 2 weeks ago went on sale this week. When I contacted the store I bought it from, they told me I could get the difference back, but screwed up in telling me that, so I took a trip there for nothing. So I called the manager today about the incident to let him know this happened, and he gave me back the difference.
• There are 3 paydays in March, so part of one is "extra" money. Fortunately, I had a fair amount of overtime on all 3 cheques this month too.

These are all material things, but I am very grateful for each and everyone of them. I feel truly blessed. It is also allowing me to pull myself up by the boot laces and try to keep a positive outlook for the rest of my life. The greater plan is good, and I feel it is coming. I just need to try to be patient a little while longer. That is the hard part.

I have next to no debt now and I have toys!!!!!!!!!!!! Wahoo!!!

A Miracle Happened

Today, I received an answer to a prayer. To me, it is a miracle. I have prayed and prayed so hard for miracles, and one finally happened. Some may consider it nothing more than a simple act of kindness or love, but for me, it was nothing short of a miracle because it was the last thing I would have expected to happen to me and from a person I wouldn't have expected it of.

I know I am confusing you. Today I received a gift from a family member that will help to change my present circumstances tremendously. I feel a great weight lifted from my shoulders, and my faith has been restored. If this prayer has been answered, surely the other substantial things I need in my life will be on their way too. God knew I was at the end of my rope, and He tied a knot in it so I could hold on and continue to climb to the top of that mountain. One of the obstacles in my life is being removed. So the others, I believe, shall follow. As scripture says, "If you truly believe and you tell that mountain to move, it will move." Today, I give thanks with a grateful heart, believing that the rest will come, if only I can be patient a little while longer. Thank you, God, for this miracle.

Spring

Well ... spring arrives today. It also marks the beginning of the new astrological year, so Happy New Year!

Spring marks a fresh start, a new beginning for many things. I hope it does for me. I'm very much in need of that. House hunting by myself is proving to be very, very difficult. I don't have the knowledge I need to make good choices. I am seeking help of those who know more, but I'm finding this to be very much an emotional rollercoaster. The excitement seems to be quickly dashed and replaced with a sense of hopelessness each time I look at a property. I am struggling to stay positive, but with time running against me, it is very difficult. I am hoping beyond all hope and praying fervently that a great solution shows itself quickly. I've never been good at rollercoaster rides. I prefer to have my feet firmly planted on the soil and know the direction to the gate out of the circus.

Happy spring!!!!

Words Women Use

Someone sent me this list of words women use. As I have said on several occasions, I do not consider myself a typical woman. My responses to these are in red.


Fine

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

My use of this word at the end of an argument would mean "Have it your way and live with the consequences."

Five Minutes

If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Five minutes is five minutes is five minutes. If I'm gonna be a half hour, I'll tell you so.

Nothing

This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "Nothing" usually end in "Fine"!

If I tell you "nothing" it means I don't want to talk about, or now is not the right time to talk about (we'll discuss it later), or it is not worth discussing and is my issue to deal with.

Go Ahead

This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

I don't like this expression. This sounds like a threat to me, not a dare. Go ahead, means "do what you want and live with the consequences."

Loud Sigh

This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."

A loud sigh means I feel overwhelmed by something. If I think you are an idiot, I would tell you so.


That's OK

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's OK" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

I try very hard not to bring up past mistakes. What is done is done. We will probably have a harder time forgiving ourselves than we do someone else.


Thanks

A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.

"Thank you" and "I'm sorry" are words that I use often and easily. I try never to take anyone for granted and have no problem accepting responsibility when I am wrong.

From the Mouths of Babes

What does Love mean?

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4- to 8-year-olds, "What does love mean?"

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca (age 8)

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy (age 4)

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl (age 5)

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy (age 6)

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri (age 4 )

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny (age 7)

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss." Emily (age 8)

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby (age 7) [Wow!]

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate." Nikka (age 6) [We need a few million more Nikka's on this planet.]

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle (age 7)

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy (age 6)

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy (age 8)

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare (age 6)

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine (age 5)

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris (age 7)

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann (age 4)

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren (age 4)

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Karen (age 7) [What an imagination!]

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark (age 6)

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica (age 8)

And the final one—Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four-year-old child whose next door neighbour was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."

I guess I must be a child at heart because I see all of those things as defining love as well. Love is beautiful, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. It's what makes this life worth living.

Taxes

The only thing that Revenue Canada has not yet taxed is the male penis. This is due to the fact that

• 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed
• 30% of the time it is hard up
• 20% of the time it is pissed off
  
• and 10% of the time it is in the hole

On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts.

Effective January 1st, 2005, your penis will be taxed according to size.

The brackets are as follows:

• 10"–12" Luxury Tax ... 30.00
• 8"–10" Pole Tax ... 25.00
• 5"–8" Privilege Tax ... 15.00
• 4"–5" Nuisance Tax ... 3.00

Males exceeding 12" must file under capital gains. Anyone under 4" is eligible for a refund. [You know who you are.]

PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION.

I Did It!!!

I did it all by myself. Well, almost entirely. I got a new computer armoire and put it together and moved my computer into it, by myself. I had a little help putting the main structure together, but I did all the rest. Let me tell you that putting those doors on by myself was a real bitch. I made a couple little errors that I had to correct, but I did it!!!

I bought a house, by myself too. No one but the realtor went with me. I wish I could have called on someone to help, but anyone I really wanted to be there couldn't be. So I did it myself. There are several things to take care of to get it all in order, and I have been doing it by myself. I have had offers to help with things in the house once I get it, which I will accept.

Most of my life, I have had to do most everything for myself, even when I was in physical pain, very ill, or on the verge of exhaustion. It certainly makes for someone fairly independent. There is history to that, but I will let history stay in the past where it belongs.

This is my year for transition, and it is happening. For the last couple years my life has dragged on, not showing me much hope for my future. That has been very difficult. I'm not very patient when it comes to that. In hindsight I see that it was my healing years, my years to let go of the past, and to prepare myself for a very different future. It is ironic that within a couple weeks of writing an important e-mail of forgiveness to release my past from me, that my life began to plunge forward very quickly. I believe God has a plan for my life, and He is finally starting to reveal it to me.

I have had dreams over the years that are premonitions. I had a recurring dream recently about having a house of my own. The details of that dream and the reality of my house purchase have many similarities. I've had a couple other dreams about my future too. Now to see if they, too, are premonitions. I certainly hope so. Wish me luck!!

You Were Right

I have no problem admitting it. You were right. My friends kept telling me over and over again that what I need would come, when the time was right. Keyboard was one of those people.

This has been quite a week. I learned about a house coming back on the market that I was going to look at before. I viewed it that night, made an offer that night, and it was accepted, that night. Then the next day, I finally got action from a big company to replace a faulty product I have had that has frustrated me for the past 4–5 years. They are replacing the product with an updated version and adding in a few extra options for me to restore my faith in their company.

Then the offers of help to get my new home established have been pouring in. Some of them are shocking me, but are too wonderful for words.

So ... thank you to all my friends who had faith for me when mine was weak. And above all, thanks to God for blessing me with wonderful friends and great opportunities. I knew this would be a year of transition for me, and it is sure beginning to be just that.

This is only the beginning of something wonderful and new. I can feel it. This will be my year.

Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

It was 2 years ago today that you left us behind to start your eternal journey. I remember that day well. There were a lot of tears shed by your family, and a lot of happy memories shared. Dad, I even felt a sense of peacefulness for you because I knew you were in a wonderful place and would be very happy there.

My memories of you are wonderful, Dad. I remember all the times we spent together fishing, gardening, hunting, and walking. I remember all the wonderful laughs we had. You had such a great sense of humour. I will never forget how gentle and loving a man you were. You enjoyed the simple life, but you really knew how to enjoy it. I hope I can do that too.

Thank you, Dad, for loving me. I miss your smiles, your laughs, and your hugs. Do you think you can put a good word in for me with THE GREAT I AM so I can have arms like yours to hold me once again. I really need that. I miss you, Daddy, and I love you.

Your loving daughter,
Donna

Where, Oh, Where

Where, oh, where have my blog friends gone?
oh where, oh where, can they be?
with their blogs so short,
and time span long,
oh where, oh where can they be?

OK guys, where are you? Are you hiding from me? Keyboard wrote on Saturday, but he's not as consistent as he used to be. And that MouseGuy, hey, what about him? It's been six months since he wrote!!!!! Lard, love a duck!!!! He must have broken his fingers. Several times, I suspect, in this length of time. Or maybe he hit his head and forgot his password (again). Hey, Keyboard, do you think MouseGuy just doesn't like us any more? *pouts*

MouseGuy? Hey, MouseGuy? Do I need to send a cat to catch the mouse? What ya doin'? How come you won't come out to play with us anymore? Party-pooper!!!!! Come on out and play with your friends. We miss you.

Overcoming the Catch-22

Well ... it looks like I found a bank willing to give me just enough to squeak in the purchase of a semi or some other similar small home. It isn't, ultimately, what I really want, but it is a start at least. Now the challenge is to find something that will fit the bill. Wish me luck!!!

On another note, I read something today that had one line that really jumped out at me. Have you ever had that happen? Actually, a line of a song did that to me this morning too. When you stop to think about them, they make perfect sense. The lines were these:

In a Christian song - "He turns our weaknesses into His opportunities so that the glory goes to Him." That's very true.

In a daily meditation book - "The most comfortable people to be around are those who are considerate of others but ultimately please themselves."

I think they speak volumes.

Catch-22s

Have you ever been in a Catch-22 situation? I have many times, and am now again. What a frustrating place to be in.

I need to move within the next 4 months. I have been searching relentlessly for rentals and finding every way I can to be able to purchase a home. Well, the difficulty I am running into is that I don't make enough money to be able to afford to buy even a modest bungalow in this area. It is doubtful that I could even find a semi within the price range the banks will give me.

The Catch-22 part is that if I have to rent, I will end up paying about the same as the mortgage amount that the bank will give me in the first place or even more.

What the *&^% is a person to do? It is upsetting. I keep being told I need a second income, but I have no control over that. I also have no control over my own income. It has been under negotiation for the past year and not looking good for anything substantial. You would think that with the substantial agreement the province just made for money from the offshore oil that they could spread a little joy to their workers. I won't hold my breath.

Please say a prayer for me. I really, really need it.

Ever Wonder?

Have you ever wondered where some of those sayings come from? I have. I love it when I find out where they did come from. Here are a few of them:

• The whole nine yards — During the wars (and probably still today) a belt of ammo for a machine gun is 9 yards long. When the enemy was approaching, the command was to give them the whole 9 yards. This saying is still used today to indicate to "give them all you have."
• Good night, sleep tight — In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase ... "goodnight, sleep tight."
• Honeymoon — It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
• Mind your Ps and Qs — In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down." Hence, the saying today "Mind your Ps and Qs."
• Wet your whistle — Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

And a bit of trivia for you:

• It is impossible to lick your elbow.
• What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common? They were all invented by women.
• If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
• 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
• Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades - King David ... Hearts - Charlemagne ... Clubs -Alexander, the Great ... Diamonds - Julius Caesar
• The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
• The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age 11: $6400 (US probably)
• Coca-Cola was originally green.
• Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
  
• Many years ago, in Scotland a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only ... Ladies Forbidden"... and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

Bet you tried to lick your elbow, didn't you? 75% of people will try it. (teehee)

Stress Management

I admit it. I let stress get the better of me in the past couple weeks. I lost all perspective. I haven't gone over the deep end like that in a long time. Not good.

Today someone sent me this list of ways to de-stress. I could have used some of them in the past few days. The good news, though—I am on the way back up.

Some ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

• Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
• Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. [I failed on this one, I'm ashamed to say. They tasted bitter when I had to swallow them.]
  
• Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
• Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
• If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
• If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
• Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on. [I fell flat on my arse.]
• Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
• The second mouse gets the cheese. [sucks to be the first]
  
• Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
• You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person. [If I am, I would like to know it.]
• Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
• We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colours, but they all have to live in the same box.
• A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. [This I have done successfully.]

Remember this: "If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes
increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. You have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."

And sometimes we just have to let them go completely. How important are they anyway?

Valentine's Day

So ... it is Valentine's Day again. It just feels like any other day to me. This day really sucks when you are really single. Most everyone around you is receiving expressions of love in one form or another from someone special while you stand by and watch it happen and wish it were you.

I know this is a day of love, but I think it is important to express your love for someone in special ways all throughout the year. Perhaps Valentine's Day is simply an over-rated Hallmark holiday.

Brace myself now for the upcoming Easter holiday. Oh joy!!