Overcoming the Catch-22

Well ... it looks like I found a bank willing to give me just enough to squeak in the purchase of a semi or some other similar small home. It isn't, ultimately, what I really want, but it is a start at least. Now the challenge is to find something that will fit the bill. Wish me luck!!!

On another note, I read something today that had one line that really jumped out at me. Have you ever had that happen? Actually, a line of a song did that to me this morning too. When you stop to think about them, they make perfect sense. The lines were these:

In a Christian song - "He turns our weaknesses into His opportunities so that the glory goes to Him." That's very true.

In a daily meditation book - "The most comfortable people to be around are those who are considerate of others but ultimately please themselves."

I think they speak volumes.

Catch-22s

Have you ever been in a Catch-22 situation? I have many times, and am now again. What a frustrating place to be in.

I need to move within the next 4 months. I have been searching relentlessly for rentals and finding every way I can to be able to purchase a home. Well, the difficulty I am running into is that I don't make enough money to be able to afford to buy even a modest bungalow in this area. It is doubtful that I could even find a semi within the price range the banks will give me.

The Catch-22 part is that if I have to rent, I will end up paying about the same as the mortgage amount that the bank will give me in the first place or even more.

What the *&^% is a person to do? It is upsetting. I keep being told I need a second income, but I have no control over that. I also have no control over my own income. It has been under negotiation for the past year and not looking good for anything substantial. You would think that with the substantial agreement the province just made for money from the offshore oil that they could spread a little joy to their workers. I won't hold my breath.

Please say a prayer for me. I really, really need it.

Ever Wonder?

Have you ever wondered where some of those sayings come from? I have. I love it when I find out where they did come from. Here are a few of them:

• The whole nine yards — During the wars (and probably still today) a belt of ammo for a machine gun is 9 yards long. When the enemy was approaching, the command was to give them the whole 9 yards. This saying is still used today to indicate to "give them all you have."
• Good night, sleep tight — In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase ... "goodnight, sleep tight."
• Honeymoon — It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
• Mind your Ps and Qs — In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down." Hence, the saying today "Mind your Ps and Qs."
• Wet your whistle — Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

And a bit of trivia for you:

• It is impossible to lick your elbow.
• What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common? They were all invented by women.
• If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
• 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
• Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades - King David ... Hearts - Charlemagne ... Clubs -Alexander, the Great ... Diamonds - Julius Caesar
• The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
• The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age 11: $6400 (US probably)
• Coca-Cola was originally green.
• Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
  
• Many years ago, in Scotland a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only ... Ladies Forbidden"... and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

Bet you tried to lick your elbow, didn't you? 75% of people will try it. (teehee)

Stress Management

I admit it. I let stress get the better of me in the past couple weeks. I lost all perspective. I haven't gone over the deep end like that in a long time. Not good.

Today someone sent me this list of ways to de-stress. I could have used some of them in the past few days. The good news, though—I am on the way back up.

Some ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

• Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
• Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. [I failed on this one, I'm ashamed to say. They tasted bitter when I had to swallow them.]
  
• Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
• Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
• If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
• If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
• Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on. [I fell flat on my arse.]
• Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
• The second mouse gets the cheese. [sucks to be the first]
  
• Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
• You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person. [If I am, I would like to know it.]
• Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
• We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colours, but they all have to live in the same box.
• A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. [This I have done successfully.]

Remember this: "If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes
increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. You have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."

And sometimes we just have to let them go completely. How important are they anyway?

Valentine's Day

So ... it is Valentine's Day again. It just feels like any other day to me. This day really sucks when you are really single. Most everyone around you is receiving expressions of love in one form or another from someone special while you stand by and watch it happen and wish it were you.

I know this is a day of love, but I think it is important to express your love for someone in special ways all throughout the year. Perhaps Valentine's Day is simply an over-rated Hallmark holiday.

Brace myself now for the upcoming Easter holiday. Oh joy!!

Get a Grip

There are all kinds of things we use to "get a grip" on things. For instance

• pot holders/oven mitts to grip hot dishes from the oven
  
• ice tongs to grip the ice cubes in the bucket
• salad tongs to grip all those loose pieces of salad
• studded tires to grip on icy roads
• snowshoes to get a grip for walking on snow
• pliers to get a grip on something small we can't grip with our hands
• holding a child's hand to keep a grip on them from running into the street

Today, I need to "get a grip"—period. I have allowed stress to overwhelm me to the point where I'm having a hard time getting a grip on my day-to-day life. It caused me to look at a situation the wrong way and misinterpret what was happening. As a result, I hurt someone I care about. I've made my apologies. I only hope I can be forgiven. I'm trying to "get a grip" and stop worrying so much. Get a grip, Miz D, get a grip now. You know better than that.

I Remember ...

These are some of the things I remember from my childhood:

• Being able to buy just half a popsicle for 4¢, a whole one for 7¢
• Scotties chips in a foil bag for 5¢
• Five Star chocolate bars
• Spearmint Leaves that were 3/1¢
• Five loaves of bread cost 96¢
• Ice cream cones were 10¢
• Admission to a movie was 25¢
• Tiny Tim was tiptoeing through the tulips
• Henry Gibson said, "Life is a many splendoured thing"
• Don Messer had a "jubilee"
• Lawrence Welk conducted his band with "uh-one-a, uh-two-a"
• Cry-baby Cannon was a wrestler
• Muhammad Ali floated like a butterfly and stung like a bee
• Searching the woods for blueberries, tea berries, and spruce gum
• Fishing for perch with my Dad to fill his eel trap
• Trips to my grandparent's century farm and spending time with the cows
• Picking mushrooms in a cow pasture
• Weeding the vegetable and harvesting the vegetables
• Playing "show and tell" with the boys next door and getting caught—twice
• Laying in the sun and listening to the Argus planes fly overhead
• Watching bumblebees collecting nectar from the clover on my lawn
• Swinging in the canvas hammock between the trees in our yard until I fell asleep
• Swimming naked in the lake at our cottage

I'm sure there are many things you, too, remember. When I review this list, these are the most memorable things. The one pattern I notice is that the vast majority of these things were enjoyed with my father or alone. I sure do miss him. I guess his influence in my life is why I feel such a great need to have a male as a prominent figure in my life. I love male companionship and really do need it in my life. How lonely life is without it.

Chiropractors

I owe a great deal to my chiropractor. He is wonderful. He has offered me so much relief from pain that drugs, physio, and accupuncture could not address. I went to see him yesterday. I go every 4 months for an adjustment to my back and neck and anything else that happens to crop up in the meantime.

He surprised me yesterday. I was complaining about muscles I had pulled in my ribs in October and had been suffering with since. I explained what happened and how I kept reinjuring them. He examined my back and said, "Oh good ... you have locked up all your ribs on the left side." Wonderful. Apparently the tight muscles pulled the ribs into a locked position and the locked position kept the muscles tense so they would not heal. It was a Catch-22 situation. One continued to affect the other. Now I need a few sessions to get my joints mobile again. I should have gone to see him in October. When will I ever learn???

Nice Change

Hey, Keyboard, it is nice to see a week dedicated to good things. It's like wishing the newspaper only printed good news and left out the bad stuff. Perhaps they should follow your footsteps, even if only for a week.

Your words about your wife are very touching. I believe everyone of us should have a relationship like that. Not that I believe either party should wait hand and foot on the other, but definitely to share that kind of love in whatever way works for them both. It's all about give and take, listening and hearing, understanding and empathy. And above all else, deep, true love with a soulmate. I believe we all have one, but we don't all find them.

I want that. I have always wanted that for as long as I can remember. I need that. I am determined that I will have that, soon.

My Gripes for This Week

These are the things that have aggravated me this week:

• Heat that doesn't seem to be able to be controlled in the office. First we froze so bad our hands were near numb, now it is so hot we can't breathe or stay awake.
• Searching the ads in the paper for rentals only to find the same things day after day and nothing that fits the bill.
• People wearing perfume in a scent-free environment when I am sensitive to it.
• Unrelenting dreams that have been disturbing my sleep for 2 weeks straight.
• Waiting for too long for someone to fix my dryer.
• Software programs that are looking for an installation disk when I try to open them because they were not installed properly, and I don't have the disk.
  
• My daughter's procrastination.
• Songs that are written in a key I can't sing in.

I'm sure the list goes on, but I am too tired from dreaming all week to think straight. Poor baby, huh? Hope you have had a good week. Mine was good in spite of all this. Everyday above ground is a good day.

My Birthday Wish

I have often read that writing down what you want and need in life sets in motion a powerful chain of events that gives God and the universe permission to fulfill them. So ... on this day, my birthday wish is a public one. This is what I wish for 2005.

• Someone incredibly special to be a major part of my life. Those strong arms to hold me when I've had a bad day, a shoulder to cry on when I need to, a ear to listen and understand when I need to talk, someone who enjoys spending time with family and friends, and to share an incredible passion with me.
• Financial relief so I don't feel so restricted in my life. I don't need expensive jewellery, furs, big houses, fancy cars, or to travel the world. I just want to feel comfortable and to be able to enjoy a little more of life.
• I want to have a home to live in. Something comfortable, in a convenient location, that fits in my budget. I want to have a bit of a garden to poke around in, and a yard I can enjoy sitting out in.
• I want to have a modest car. Something reliable with some warranty on it and that's good in snow. What I would really like to have is a Honda CR-V AWD.
• I want both of my children to be taking post-secondary courses and beginning to put there own lives in motion. It is time they planned their futures.
• I want my income to increase to be on par with my counterparts in the municipal and federal governments. We are soooo far behind them. I don't want to have to rely on overtime to make enough money to make ends meet. I want that extra time to enjoy life and to be able to get some of the things I have always wanted. Nothing elaborate, just some nice things.

I know this seems like a lot, but I trust that it can happen, and pray that at least most of it will. I've been waiting a very long time for some of these things. I am ready for them to happen. By Christmas 2005, I want my life to look very different from what it now does. I need it to. I really need it to.

How to Stay Young

I wondered what the secret was to staying young. Well ... one of my friends e-mailed me these suggestions. Perhaps there is something here that will work for you. I think #11 will work for me.

************

Remember, there is no way you can look as bad as that person on your drivers license.

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
   
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
11. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
    

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Humpty Dumpty was pushed!

Selfishness, Understanding, and Forgiveness

We so often hear that we live in a "me" society. That is often the case, and in the last few days, I sure saw evidence of it. These are the selfish comments people made on my bus trips in the past couple days:

• Why is this bus waiting here? Where is that driver going? He better not be coming back with a coffee in his hand. Hello people!!!! The driver is entitled to go pee. How many hours can you drive consecutively before you have to go, especially when the opportunities are few and far between?
• I can't believe that driver was checking to see if he put enough money in. I can't believe he asked that young fellow if he paid. If he had been paying attention rather than talking to that passenger, he would have seen it. Have you ever been talking to one person and missed something else that happened around you? Do you work in silence everyday, never conversing with your colleagues or the public?
• Push to the rear of the bus, please, or I will have to leave these people standing in the cold. The response was "Where do you want us to go? We can't go any further? Should we start stacking ourselves?" Excuse me ... but when there are that many people there, the driver may not necessarily be able to get a clear view in his mirror. It may be blocked. He is trying to help those standing in the cold.
• Someone pulled the bell, and because the bus was packed so tightly, the driver began to pull away before the last person got off. He couldn't see or know that someone else was trying to get off. He obviously didn't hear people telling him that someone was still trying to get off, and he is not allowed to stop between stops. Comments were "Turn your hearing aids up. Is that what she paid $1.75 for? To get let off at the next stop where she has to walk back in that freezing cold?" People make mistakes. He was following rules. Yes, it was unfortunate, especially given the weather, but it has happened to me too. We are all human.

The lady making all these comments took down the bus number to lodge a complaint, and told the driver as she disembarked that he was in the wrong line of work. She continued to look back at him and rant and rave as she walked away. I was glad to see her leave.

Once she got off, the driver began talking to a male passenger telling him how much attitude he has had to put up with in recent years and how he can't wait to retire in 6 years. I then listened to him rant and rave for the next 15 minutes. I was really glad to get off that bus that day.

The sad part of all this is that people just don't take the time to look at a situation from any perspective but their own. It is what works for them that they want, at any cost. People are imperfect. We make mistakes all the time. Understanding and forgiveness goes a long way. I wish more people would try that route.<>

Change

Bummer, I wrote something and posted it the other day, but it seems to have some how gotten deleted. That sucks!!! Oh well ... I guess it wasn't meant to be read.

I can't believe we got yet another blizzard. Unbelievable!!! I don't know where we are going to put all the snow if this keeps up the trend. Many years ago, this area was not so developed, so there was not too much to plow and always a place to put it. Now they have to haul it away and dump it somewhere else. How things change!!!

It's interesting to see how time changes things. That is certainly one thing we can all count on in life—change. It is always happening. Even when we think every day is just another ordinary day, we one day realize how things have changed from the way they used to be. Surprising, isn't it?

Change can be a good thing, and most often is, even if we don't at first realize it. My horoscope says that this week is going to bring a big change in direction for me. I will be interested to see just what that entails. Here's hoping it is something I will like.

Friggin' Ice

First it was the snow on Monday, then it was the ice later that night. It decided to attract me like a magnet. Let me explain.

On that friggin' snowy night, I had to take some garbage out. It couldn't wait. The plow had been to the parking lot earlier and plowed it out. It wasn't the same one that usually does it, but I didn't think much about that. The blizzard had finally stopped, so off I went. I put on my coat and boats and grabbed the kitchen green bin, a blue bag, and a couple kitchen bags of garbage and descended the four floors to the garbage bins.

All was well and quiet. No one was around. The doorsteps had been shovelled off, but the area in front of the garbage bins was not. I didn't want to wade through knee-deep snow, so I stepped into the parking lot. Therein lied my mistake.

I didn't realize that the plow did not spread salt. The parking lot looked like it usually does after it is plowed. I took one step onto the pavement and immediately ended up on my arse with bags flying and my arm wrenched into an uncomfortable position, still holding the green bin. Shit!!! There was sheer ice under fluffy snow, not compacted snow, as I had thought. I don't even remember stepping on the pavement. I went down so fast and so hard, it was unbelievable. It hurt like hell!!!! I was wearing only a thin pair of pants and have nothing more than a layer of flesh over my hip bones. I got up and dumped the garbage where it should be (actually I think I threw it) and limped back up those four flights of stairs, madder than a wet hen, and hurting like you would not believe.

I called building maintenance to tell them they should spread salt to avoid further falls, only to be told that it would be salted the next day and there was no salt in the building. I was then also told that there were already 2 or 3 people who fell. So why the hell didn't they post a sign of caution???? I live in a building where the vast majority of people are retired and elderly. What on Earth are they thinking? I bruised my hip really good and believe that I have sprained my shoulder and arm. They are lucky I don't sue them. Someone else might.

So, guess what I have to do to treat my injuries from the ice? You got it ... put ice on it. Hey ... isn't that what got me in this position in the first place? Go figure!!!

Friggin' Snow

Not another blizzard? Good grief!! I wonder if we will get these every third Monday? I already have every third Monday off, but having these ones makes for more 4-day work weeks. I like that part, but I have to use vacation time for these storm days. Our offices never close, well, almost never. In the 24 years I have worked for the provincial government, the only time they ever closed was for Hurricane Juan and White Juan because we were in a state of emergency.

In any case, I couldn't get to work because my only mode of transportation was not moving today in the storm. I don't blame them at all. I'm just thankful that I can still get paid for the day. Many others will not. Safety is far more important on days like today. Smart move to keep vehicles off the streets and people safely tucked in their homes.

Just Stuff

It seems that Keyboard is having some real difficulties with telemarketers. It would appear he gets far more of these calls than I do. They are frustrating, especially when they call at mealtime. It looks like he is coming up with some solutions to have them avoid calling him again. I think he is having fun with it.

I've been listening to some CDs this afternoon. I have decided that I really like the 3 Doors Down CD Away from the Sun. It has some really good songs. There is one that always makes me cry. It is called Here without You. Nice song.

I've also been doing a lot of thinking about my life. I really need some major things to change in my life this year. I'm looking at this year as a year of transition. I've also realized that my whole life I've always settled for less than what I really want. Kind of like I've never realized my truest dreams. I've often felt like the girl in that commercial on TV "You're number two!; You're number two!" I really want to be number one in someone's life. I don't want a man I can live with, I want one I can't live without. I will keep dreaming "the impossible dream" and reaching for "the unreachable star." Here's praying this is my year!!

Perfect Timing

I have often heard people speak of our lives happening in perfect timing, even when we don't realize it. I believe in that. It is usually after the fact that we can see that it did happen that way. We can look back and say, "Yes, if I had gotten that sooner, I may not have appreciated it the way I do now." or maybe we would think back and see that we really were not ready for it then.

I had a usual, but extraordinary day on Monday. It is the first time in my life that I can say I remember that absolutely everything in my entire day happened in perfect timing, from dawn to dusk. It was amazing. Only days before I had made a New Year's resolution to try to remain positive about my life. That this year is a new beginning for me in every way that I can manage. This phenomenon on Monday made me trust that it can and will happen in perfect timing. I need to remain trusting about that. I believe in the power of positive thinking. It is in this way that I want to prophesize my future, not in a negative way.

I finally believe that 2005 will be a great year for me, and I will do everything in my power to make it be so. Wish me luck and say a prayer!! (a contradiction in terms, I know)

Words of Wisdom

All human wisdom is summed up in two words ... wait and hope.

Wisdom grows when knowledge is lived.

Wisdom is knowledge that has been cured in the brine of tears.

The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.

Pain makes people think, thought makes people wise, and wisdom makes life endurable.

True wisdom lies in gathering the precious things out of each day as it goes by.

Comet

When I was a child, Comet was an abrasive cleanser for cleaning the kitchen sink and bathroom. There was even a silly little song we used to sing about using it to clean your teeth. (teehee) A comet, though, is a heavenly thing and can be scary.

The following is an excerpt from the website I have linked here for astrology.

Comets have always been seen as inauspicious omens. The ancients associated them with disasters, fires, plagues, famines and earthquakes. Late last year, a new comet, Machholz, suddenly appeared. It entered the zodiac hours before the tsunami and is still visible now. I shall be watching for such phenomena even more carefully this year. I shall also be watching the American mission to launch a rocket, this Wednesday, at a comet called Tempel 1. The collision will occur months later... on July 4! Maybe today's new moon is making me feel unduly apprehensive... but I don't approve of this plan. — Jonathan Cainer

Why are the Americans planning to launch a rocket at this comet anyway? Is it a threat to the Earth or is their missile going to create that threat to the Earth? My feeling is that we should not mess with nature if something is not a threat to us. Don't try to fix what is not broken. This is actually a scary thought. What will happen if they hit it? Will it cause the comet to fragment, scattering many pieces of it Earthbound causing more devastation? How much damage will it cause if left alone? If not left alone? How will that balance tilt?

Yikes ... I shudder at the thought of what could happen. Let's leave it in God's hands.