Born Free? / Taxed to Death ... and Beyond!

This little poem was sent to me in an email. It certainly is a sign of our times. Our country really does need help. The question is, How do we do it without it falling on the backs of the taxpayers?

Tax his land, tax his bed, tax the table at which he's fed.

Tax his work, tax his pay, he works for peanuts anyway!

Tax his cow, tax his goat, tax his pants, tax his coat.

Tax his tobacco, tax his drink, tax him if he tries to think.

Tax his car, tax his gas, find other ways to tax his ass.

Tax all he has then let him know that you won't be done till he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers, then tax him some more, tax him till he's good and sore.

Then tax his coffin, tax his grave, tax the sod in which he's laid.

When he's gone, do not relax, its time to apply the inheritance tax.

 

Accounts Receivable Tax

Airline surcharge tax

Airline Fuel Tax

Airport Maintenance Tax

Building Permit Tax

Cigarette Tax

Corporate Income Tax

Death Tax

Dog License Tax

Driving Permit Tax

EnvironmentalTax (Fee)

Excise Taxes

Federal Income Tax

Federal Unemployment  (UI)

Fishing License Tax

Food License Tax

Gasoline Tax (too much per litre)

Gross Receipts Tax

Health Tax

Hunting LicenseTax

HydroTax

InheritanceTax

InterestTax

LiquorTax

LuxuryTaxes

Marriage License Tax

Medicare Tax

Mortgage Tax

Personal Income Tax

Property Tax

Poverty Tax

Prescription Drug Tax

Provincial Income and sales tax

Real Estate Tax

Recreational Vehicle Tax

Retail Sales Tax

Service Charge Tax

School Tax

Telephone Federal Tax

Telephone Federal, Provincial and Local Surcharge Taxes

Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax

Vehicle  License Registration Tax

Vehicle Sales Tax

Water Tax

Watercraft Registration Tax

Well Permit Tax

Workers Compensation Tax

--- and in 2010 the HST

(author unknown)

 

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

 

Not one of these taxes existed 60 years ago, and our nation was one of the most  prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had a large middle class, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

 

What in "Hell" happened?

Are You a Butterfly Too?

(Photo courtesy of Jim Newman.)

Have you ever noticed how life has so much to teach us if we only take the time to look? If you look at the trees around you, can you see how strong they are in standing up against the wind? Only the pieces of them which no longer serve a purpose are shed in those winds, yet the roots run strong and deep to hold it steady, and it continues to grow and flourish.

A butterfly is another rich example of how change can be handled in our lives. A caterpillar will one day turn into a beautiful butterfly. That's a dramatic change in their life. It goes through many stages before it emerges as a thing of beauty to be admired and looked at with wonder and awe. 

Have you ever followed a caterpillar through the stages of its life and thought about what it goes through? A caterpillar begins as a tiny egg, which takes a little time then hatches into a fuzzy-bodied creature. Then for a period of time, it spends all day eating leaves, growing stronger and bigger, molting as it grows, preparing for the next stage of its life. One day you notice it is no longer there on that leaf. A search for it shows it has transformed itself into a chrysalis. Here insides its little cocoon it sleeps for another period of time, undergoing another big, life-altering change.

Then one day, the chrysalis begins to break open. Slowly, the butterfly emerges from its place of rest. It is tired and wet and must sit for a period of time to rest and dry its wings. But it has successfully and dramatically transformed its life from a little creature that must crawl from place to place to a beautiful butterfly who may now spread its wings and fly. It is a whole new way of life for it from the one from which it began.

How similar is human life to that? Life is full of changes we must undertake. Changing can be hard, and some days we probably wonder if it is worth it. But ultimately we know that one day all the hard work is going to get us wings to fly too. Change can be the hardest thing in the world. The work that must be done to go from one stage to the next can be very tiring and draining. Oftentimes we are scared of change because we don't know exactly how things will turn out. We are not meant to. That is when we must trust in ourselves and have faith that God is helping us every step of the way. I truly believe He is.

So, if you are undergoing change, especially major change in your life, don't be afraid. Trust in yourself. Trust your own instincts. Trust in the power that you have been given. And above all else, trust in the plan that God has for your life. It is a beautiful one, and you are worth the work to get there!

Humidity

Yuck! We have had a few days of hot weather combined with humidity here. Although the temperatures were only around 24–26 °C here on the coast, the humidity is high, so the "feel like" temperature or the "humidex" as well call it, made the temperature 32–34 °C. Gross!!! The only saving grace is the wind that has been constantly blowing. It makes it almost bearable.

I sure hope the humidity goes away soon. Forecast, though, shows no sun for the next week. I am told that where we live, it is the hardest place in the world to forecast weather because it is constantly changing. As we all say, "If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes. It'll change." We can only hope for the best. Personally, I look forward to September weather, excluding the hurricane season that is predicted to be more intense than usual.

Life, She's a-Changing

Well now, it has been a very long time since I have blogged. Time to start anew I guess.

Last night marked a full moon, a solar eclipse, and a cosmic cross in the sky. All of this is, according to astrologers, a very powerful time marking an ending to all things we wish to put behind us. We will now have the power and resources to do so. In two weeks time, we will have a lunar eclipse. It will mark a time for new beginnings to take shape.

I can feel it. My life is beginning to really change ... for the better. Life feels like it is unfolding, opening up, opening doors. My world is slowly, but surely, expanding. I am doing my best to steer it in a direction that I want to go.

My daughter graduated today from a local business college as a veterinary assistant. She looked beautiful, and I'm very proud of her. She and her significant other are launching their own business doing reptile shows. She, like me, is an Aquarian. Her life is changing and beginning to unfold and go in new directions too.

It will be interesting to see what the next few weeks hold in store. For today, I can say I have had a busy weekend, but it's all good. What does the near future hold for you?

Empty Nest

As with all mother birds, my baby birds have now all left the nest. It is a bit of an odd feeling. The house is strangely quiet. Although it was often quiet prior to this last move, at least I knew someone would be home shortly. Now, there is no one to come through the door after work and say, "Hi Mom. How was your day? What's for supper?"

There are some pluses to it to, though. I get up in the morning and find my kitchen has not been invaded by gremlins while I slept. My bathroom stays much cleaner, there are fewer towels and laundry to wash, I don't have to share the driveway, and I can cook and eat what I want, when I want. Hmmm ... there really are some pluses there.

I already started to paint the vacated room. Did the first one when she left, now the second one has flown the coop and that room is being freshened up as well. Painting this one blue. Never did like the neon green we inherited in there when we bought the house. Never had time to repaint it before moving in. Now it gets an overhaul.

It has been 26 years that I have been living with my children under the same roof. They have begun lives of their own, and I wish them well. Oh yes, I will always be there for them in ways that I can be, and they will always be my children. BUT ... it is my time now. My time has come. I must move forward. I am ready. I am very, very ready. Stay tuned ...

Wow ... It's Been a While

It has been quite some time since I posted a blog. With Facebook taking over so much of my contact with friends, I keep forgetting about this little gem. Hmm ... I'll have to give it some thought as to what to write here. In the meantime ...

Happy Easter!!!!

PMS? Which one are you?

13 Things PMS Stands For:


1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweat pants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

13. Potential Murder Suspect

Who Says You Need to Know How to Spell?

Only great minds can read this This is weird, but interesting!

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Wow ... It's Been a While

Well, it's been a while since I wrote here. Maybe it's time I got back to it, at least a bit. Not sure what to say, but I'll wing it for now and then try to think of some topic to speak about.

It's been quite a winter so far. The temperatures have been up and down more than a whore's drawers and we keep riding a rollercoaster of temperatures that dip low, snow on us, then raise and rain on us. Go figure. The joys of living on the east coast I guess.

Yesterday I attempted to go to work, but it was so icy on my whole street that it was just way too treacherous to walk. Even my grass was a sheet of ice and not even the tiniest spot of pavement showed through the ice. I tried to dig my toes into the snow on the grass to go that way, hoping to reach the freshly salted road. Well, that was not to be. I got to the end of my car, reached out and grabbed the spoiler, and my feet began to go out from under me. To put this into perspective, from the time I take the last step down onto the driveway, my entire 2-3 minute walk to the bus is all a downhill grade.

Now one might think that would be the easiest way down the hill, but going that distance on my arse is not my idea of a good time. It might have been as a kid, but at my age, it is simply a spectacle not to be observed. The air might be a little blue around me too. So, after the first incident of beginning to lose my footing, I about-faced and headed back into the house where it was safe to stand and walk around.

The ice began to melt surprisingly early in the day, so by lunchtime, we were pretty well clear of it. I took a break and went to the local store and bought myself a pair of cleats to attach to my shoes and boots for the next ice event. Hopefully that will spare my neighbours from watching a hilarious spectacle and keep me from breaking bones and bruising my ego. Here's hoping they work well for me.

Murder Conspiracy or Conspiracy to Murder?

About a month ago, I was sitting here at my computer early one Saturday morning when I heard a tremendous bang, the crows going nuts, and the electricity went out. I called the power corporation, who were quick to respond. As it turned out, a crow among the murder make contact and blew out the fuse. It is a 15-minute fix, a pick-up of a fried crow who was laying belly-up on the transformer, and the power was restored.

Now, one would think the birds would learn from this. As I lay sleeping this morning, I was awakened by a tremendous bang at 6:40 a.m. Again the crows went nuts. Oh-oh, they didn't learn. I got up and called the power corporation once again and told them what had happened. They actually had a high volume of calls this morning, so it was 8 a.m. before they responded, but electricity was restored in 15 minutes again.

Now, I sit here and wonder. Did this murder conspire to do this? Did they say to one another, "Hey, Joe there is just not welcome in this group anymore. Let's lead him over to that spot on the pole." Once there, I imagine they say, "Hey, Joe. This is a really neat trick. Just touch that spot there and see what happens." Being willing to go along with the gang, he does. And voilà, fried crow. I believe this murder conspired to commit murder. I wonder if they have a judge and jury? Will someone have to eat crow??

Well Now ...

Well it has been awhile since I have written anything here. Been busy, and other times never thought of it. Missed the dedications to Mom and Dad for Mother's and Father's Days, but they certainly were not far from my thoughts.

Life is different these days. Been very busy at work and in my personal life, and am finding more time to laugh and enjoy life.

We are coming up soon on the second eclipse in my zodiac sign this year. My astrologer says this is no ordinary year for me and that there is no way I will end the year anywhere's near the way I started it. He also says what I think life will be like will continue to change many times throughout the year. Damn ... I want a crystal ball. I have a need to know a few things.

Well vacation starts tomorrow after work, right after I attend the staff BBQ going away party for one of my colleagues. Nice way to start vacation by not coming home. I like it!

I hope my next two weeks are enjoyable. I have a few things planned, but will take the rest as it comes. Maybe I'll see you along the way.

Life is Changing ...

Well ... I intended to write a memorial to my Mom here on April 29, which would have been her birthday, but it didn't happen somehow. That was a day of remembering my Mom. All the "firsts" this year seem to be a little hard. We will have Mother's Day in two days' time, and I suspect that will be hard as well. But life goes on in spite of it all ...

This year is seeing me through many changes in my life. Some of them easy, some not so easy. It's been a rollercoaster ride so far and has taken a great deal out of me, but I've found my strength and courage and my path. It is an unfamiliar one that can be a little scary, but I've stepped out of my comfort zone and walked forward anyway. And life will be good ...

I once had certain dreams of what my future would look like, but it seems life wasn't to take me to its fruition in that way. I believe the shell of my dream (the most important part) will remain. The circumstances and timing will simply alter. I hope I am getting closer to my brightest dream, and biggest hope. And life will be good ...

And once again ... I am smiling and loving life. This is good!!!

Many Happy Returns

Have you ever wondered where the term many happy returns comes from? I have wondered, but now I wonder no more. My astrologer explained it on his website today:

The heavenly bodies in our solar system are forever circling the sky. When one of them gets back to the position it occupied on the day a person was born, we say it has 'returned'. When the Sun appears to come back we say it is a 'birthday' and wish each other 'Many Happy Returns'.
~Jonathan Cainer (cainer.com)

Who'd a thunk it??

How the Easter Bunny Came to Be

Bunnies spring forth

For countless centuries, around the first full moon of Spring, Europeans have held a festival in honour of Eostre, spirit of the dawn. She symbolises fertility and fecundity, qualities that were desperately important to the ancients. They remain essential to us all today. Without the birth of new creatures and the rebirth of plants after winter, everyone would soon starve. Eostre had a husband, Lepus, who took the form of a hare. According to legend, Eostre granted him the ability to lay eggs. Over time, the hare became even more emasculated. He is now the Easter Bunny. But even in the Southern Hemisphere where the seasons are reversed, the goddess, clearly, still holds her power.

~ Jonathan Cainer (astrologer, March 23, 2008)

Easter Thoughts

Today is Easter Sunday. A Christian holiday based on pagan traditions and coinciding with the spring equinox. It is a day of awakening. A day of new beginnings. A day that celebrates the anniversary of a life-changing experience on Earth.

Friday was Good Friday. A day when we remember the agonizing, cruel death of our Lord, stripped, scorned, mocked, and nailed to a cross to die along with two thieves. That cross at Golgotha has become a very important symbol in the lives of millions of Christians worldwide. What does it mean to you?

For me, this Easter season has been a challenging one for personal reasons. I have been trying to equate my own life to that of our Lord through this week. He had throngs of supporters as He travelled into the town on the back of a donkey just hours before His death, just as His first ride had been just hours before His birth. No wonder the donkey dons a cross upon its back. Such a blessed animal.

I see this throng of supporters in my life as my friends. Some of them are offering to be there for me too during this "dark Friday" part of my journey. Each has their own way of showing they care. I am grateful for them all.

Jesus was then wrongfully accused of what those in power deemed to be a crime. In reality, it was nothing more than a perceived threat to them. One they would not have. So He was condemned to a gruesome beating and subsequent death. Many times I have also felt as though I have been condemned and crucified wrongfully. Other times, circumstances make me feel very, very sad and outcast and without hope. Those times are my Good Fridays. Sometimes someone gathers at my feet (metaphorically, not necessary literally) to hold my hand through my pain.

The big difference for me is that I am still awaiting my Easter Sunday. I have yet to arise from the dead; to receive that Easter miracle; that great ascension into a beautifully transformed life. I try to take hope from that, but it's not easy. I know that Jesus died for me and for you. Still, my Easter has not come. I have waited many years for it, albeit not patiently by times, and I remain grasping at hope that it will come soon. I want a glorious ascension into the life I have longed for. Surely someone up above will guide me on my way.

May each of you experience your Easter journey in your own lives. Despite our Good Fridays, Sunday always comes. I believe it will for you and it will for me. However, it will be in God's time. May He grant us a speedy ascension. Happy Easter!

Here Comes Peter Cottontail

Well, it's been a while since I last wrote. At that time, Santa was on his way, now it's the Easter Bunny. Oh well, both have some fur, and they both only come once a year.

Easter is early this year. This is Holy Week. Each day this week, we should take time to think of what is most important in our lives. On Friday, we remember the crucifixion of our Lord. An ending that we mourn, when he hung his head and said, "It is done." Three days later, a new beginning emerged for Him. One of eternal peace, joy, happiness, and love.

It's ironic that my life and those of others around me seem to be echoing that same pattern. May you see the ending of those things in life that you no longer want and need and see the dawning of those things that are unimaginably magic and bring you great joy, happiness, peace and love. I know that is what I am hoping and praying for. Magic ... pure magic.

Happy Easter!

Holiday Eating Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10 000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk . If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them
behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have SOME standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Christmas Will Be Different This Year

On Monday, December 10, 2007, I lost my Mom very suddenly. This has been a very difficult week. It feels very odd to suddenly be an orphan. We had visitation where we saw many family members and friends offering their love and support. The funeral was yesterday.

One of my cousins brought me a poem, which I had the priest read during the service. I would like to share it with those of you who are experiencing a first Christmas without someone you love. I hope it brings you the comfort it brings me.

My First Christmas in Heaven

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below
With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away that tear
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear,
But the music can't compare with the Christmas choir here.
I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring.
For it is beyond description to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me. I see the pain inside your heart
But I am not so far away, we really aren't apart.
Be happy for me loved ones. You know I hold you dear.
Be glad I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I send you each a special gift from my heavenly home above.
I send you each a memory of my undying love.
After all "Love" is a gift more precious than gold.
It is always more important in the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other as my Father said to do.
For I can't count the blessings or love He has for you.
So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear.
Remember ... I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

~ Author Unknown

New Emoticons

I just saw this posted elsewhere. I thought it was cute and wanted to share it with you.

**************

We all know those little computer symbols called 'emoticons,' where:

:) means a smile and

:( is a frown.

Sometimes these are represented by

:-)

:-(

Well, how about some 'ASSICONS?'
Here it goes:

(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_*_) a sore ass

{_!_} a swishy ass

(_o_) an ass that's been around

(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass

(_?_) Dumb Ass

You have just been e-mooned!

Thanksgiving, Thanksliving

Happy Thanksgiving to you all. On this day, I give thanks for the following things:

• For the noise around me that means I can hear.
• For the daylight and dark, which means I can see.
• For fresh air because it means I am alive and breathing.
• For a roof over my head.
• For food on my table.
• For clothes on my back.
• For a car to take me where I need to go.
• For public transit to take me to work and back each day.
• For my job because it means I can earn a living and have a direct affect on many thousands of teachers and students in our province.
• For friends who are there for me when I need them.
• For my children, who will hopefully be there for me one day as I grow old.
  
• For the rain in my life because it means I will later appreciate the rainbow.
• For the winters that come because it means I will appreciate a warmer spring.
• For the beautiful colours of fall because it means I am not colour-blind.

There is so much more that I give thanks for, even on the days (like today) when I find it hard to feel that gratitude as deeply as I should. We should all be giving thanks daily that we wake up in the morning and for each event that we face each day. If we always strive to be thankful for everything in our lives, even the struggles and challenges, then we are living thanks too.

God bless you all and thank you for being my friend.