Have you ever watched a beggar on the street with his/her sign and a container of some sort looking for money? Has anyone ever stopped you on the street and asked for money for a cup of coffee or a hot meal? Did you give them any? What were your thoughts about these people. If you are like most of us, you would wonder why the heck they don't clean themselves up and get respectable jobs like the rest of us. We work for our money so why should we hand it over to someone who chooses not to work?
Have you watched a young person walking down the street with hair in an array of colours like bright pink, blue, or purple? Or maybe the person wearing chains from their waist and rings in their eyes, lips, and noses and tattoed body parts? What about the person who is dirty and smelly and appears to not have changed their clothing in weeks or longer? Most people would make comments like, Did you see that person? I would never let my kid come home looking like that!, Doesn't that person know what soap and water is?
What about the criminal accused of heinous crimes, like mass murders and child molesters? We often persecute them and ask for the death sentence to pay for their crimes.
Think about this:
- That beggar may be experiencing issues in their life that we do not know about. It may be issues that they do not yet know how to address themselves. Yes, it is possible they want the money for drugs or alcohol to feed an addiction, but we cannot know that. If we were in their shoes, would we truly be any different?
- That person who is dirty and smelly? How did they come to be that way. What life experience put them on the street wandering around and not knowing where to go to get clean and having people continuously turn them away? If someone turned you out with only the clothes on your back and no money in your pocket, would you know where to turn?
- That young person who has coloured hair, chains, and piercings could very well be your son or daughter. Why do they choose to be that way? It is an expression of who they are, but does it mean they are not a good person with a pure heart? We tend to label them simply because of the clothes they choose to wear.
- Those mass murderers and child molesters, do they really understand what they are doing? It seems to me they have a psychological problem. Why was it not detected and treated when they were kids? Many parents refuse to believe something is wrong with their children and to seek help for them. Some parents treat their children in such a way that they turn to a life of crime. Is it then OK for society to choose to end their life in turn for another? Do two wrongs make a right?
There are any number of different ways that we look at people and situations and place our own standards and moral judgments upon them. Each of us needs to have our own set of standards that is right for us, but we do not have the right to force them on any other human being or judge them based on our own ideals? Would you want someone forcing their opinions or judgments on you? I'll bet you wouldn't.
I grew up in a family situation where someone else's opinions and prejudices were forced on me. I must conform or be judged and subjected to ridicule. Even times when I was minding my own business I was criticized for something or other. Someone who was unhappy with themselves or their life circumstances would judge me based on a reflection of themselves or out of envy that they were unable to feel or think in the direction I was.
I am an individual. I try always, in every situation, to be who I really am. I am not perfect and never claimed to be. If I catch myself making judgments of others, I try to stop and reflect on the fact that I have not walked in their shoes, I have not lived their life, I do not know what they are facing or dealing with in their life anymore than they know that of me. Perhaps they, too, are judging me based on their standards.
I learned the Golden Rule as a child, and I try to live by it as much as possible. I believe in God, and what He has taught me is that there is nothing greater in this world then love, absolutely nothing. There are many kinds of love—love for a partner, your children, your parents and other family members, the love you feel for a friend, and the love we are called upon to extend to our neighbours (those who share our world).
I promise to try my best never to judge you. I have not walked in your shoes. I have not lived your life. And you have not walked in mine. God is my only judge and He is your only judge, and God is pure love.
