More Antics

Here's what happened to me today:

For the past 3 days, I have been running late in the morning and just arriving at the bus stop as the bus is about to pull in. So this morning, I thought I would multi-task to speed things up. I decided to brush my teeth while I was packing my backpack. That is not easy with one hand, so at one point I stopped brushing and tried using both hands to pack when I accidentally clipped the end of the toothbrush and sent it flying out of my mouth. I watched it as it proceeded to flip over my halfwall and right behind my freezer into a dust bunny, where I could not reach it. Now what do I do with a mouth full of toothpaste foam and no brush? The only thing one can do. Swish it around in the mouth and go spit. No time to rescue and clean that sucker before catching the bus!!!!

Speaking of buses, I have had this one driver driving either morning or afternoon for the past few days. I have to say there are not many people I don't like, but there is something about him that just doesn't quite sit right with me. He picks me up after work today and before I can even get seated, he is pedal to the metal and jerking the bus. I nearly fell flat on my face. I would never be able to read on a bus he is driving. He was all power or all brake and the bus ride was really jerky. I would be car sick at that rate. Who trains these guys anyway? Surely it isn't my two favourite trainers? Must have been prior to their time. Had to have been. ;o)

Morning Chuckles

This morning, I went to talk to our AD to vent a little. We both tend to do that from time to time. He listened patiently and empathetically while I vented. Then he began to chuckle. He told me he had a present for me, but it wasn't long-term. I was rather puzzled. He began to open a box that had arrived in his office. He slit it open and reached inside pulling out none other than a rubber chicken. He handed it to me laughing telling me I could take it to work out my frustrations. I immediately began wringing its neck. He, his assistant, and I were laughing to kill ourselves. It was great! How appropriate, since I had begun my venting with wanting to wring someone's neck.

That was not all that happened this morning. I started both my computers this morning. The one I needed to use most of the day would not display anything on the screen. I pushed the on/off button again, and got the RGB test pattern that said the monitor was working but the computer was not talking to it. I was puzzled. Then the display disappeared altogether again. I checked all the connections and they were in place, but I noticed that the plug had a dual connector on one end. I hadn't seen it before because I had not put it together. I restarted the computer. Still nothing. So I called the helpdesk. Two and one-half hours later, they finally appeared. The tech reached over and pushed a second button beside the on/off button and voila. THe display appeared and he laughed his ass off at me. I didn't know my monitor had dual output and a second button that allowed for the switching. Somehow the button got pushed between the time I left last night and got there this morning. I couldn't help but laugh, looked at the tech and said, "So sorry to have troubled you. Have a great day!" He continued to laugh and walked away saying "No problem. I like this kind of call. THey are easy." He was still laughing as he went around the other side of the office and back upstairs. What a doughhead!!! I'll know for next time (I hope).

They Came Two by Two

You know, it is an admirable thing that Noah did. He allowed God to take a drunkard and make an ark to save humanity from 40 days and nights of rain. (And to think a professional built the Titanic.) Then he called all the animals into the ark two by two, a male and female of each species so that the world may continue to thrive once more.

However, I can think of a few animals that I believe would have been best to leave behind. It has been rumoured that the unicorn was one such animal. I believe that is a myth. The animals that I believe should have been left behind have wings and 6 little legs. That's right!! It's those blessed blackflies and mosquitoes. I fail to see the significance of these creatures in our ecosystem except to fill the bellies of bats. Those wonderful little flies love me. The feeling, however, is not mutual. That is my complaint about this time of year. I can dress for the rain; I can dress for the wind; but I have a lot of difficulty keeping those little suckers away from me, no matter how I dress.

If I ever have a house again, I will put a bat house (perhaps several) in my backyard. I'm told they eat their body weight in mosquitoes each night. Fill 'er up boys!!!! As for the blackflies, once those leaves pop out on the trees and their little legs start to turn white, we can be free of them once again. Thank God!!!!

PS: Noah, couldn't you have left them behind?

Health Care Crisis?

Most say we have a health care crisis. Maybe, maybe not. Tonight on the news I watched a man speak who has written a book about the subject stating that we do not have a health care crisis. In his opinion, what we have is a sufficient supply but too much demand. He says that we have more doctors per capita than a lot of other countries, but we are going to see the doctor for more things than we need to.

Hmmm ... I think perhaps he is right in a sense. I know many people who run to the doctor with the first sign of a runny nose. Some will even go so far as to go to the emergency at the hospital if their doctor is not available. I'm not talking about real emergencies. I'm talking about the things that will probably pass with time, like simple viruses, not critical issues. Do they not realize that to step foot in an emergency room costs the tax payer $200? I also know people who should go to the doctor with symptoms indicative of something serious, but won't go because they feel they will be wasting the doctor's time.

There is one issue that really burns me. That is requiring a medical excuse for absenteeism from school or work, particularly school. On more than one occasion, I have had to waste my doctor's time to take one of my children to the doctor to get a medical excuse because they were feeling sick with a head cold and couldn't function to be in school. Failure to have an excuse would mean they could not graduate, even if they had A+ marks. Excuse me, but that is absurd!!! An already overstressed system does not need that kind of foolishness. I am taking up the doctor's time for something that will run its course and taking time away from some other patient who may have a serious illness and can't get in to see the doctor.

An overused system? Yes ... I think perhaps we might.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

I love all those cute little things kids say when you least expect them to. Here is a list of some things I thought were cute when a teacher asked her class what they had to say to God.

- Maybe Cain and Abel would not have killed each other if they had their own rooms. That's what my Mom did for my brother and I.
- In school they told us what you do. Who does it when you are on vacation?
- Are you really invisible or is it just a trick?
- Is it true my father won't get into heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house?
- Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
- I went to this wedding and they kissed right in the church. Is that OK?
- Did you really mean, "Do unto others as they do unto you?", because if you did, then I'm going to get my brother good.
- Thank you for my baby brother, but I think you got confused because what I prayed for was a puppy.
- Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.
- I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big, but not with so much hair all over.
- My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. They're just kidding, aren't they?
- We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they said you did it. So, I bet he stole your idea.

Aren't kids cute? I just love them. I will leave you today with a quote I like:

You make a living from what you get; you make a life from what you give. Give til you heart feels full. Making a life is what it is all about.

Clarity Please!!

The English language is such a funny thing. So many words that sound the same but have different meanings. Tonight my daughter called me to tell me she watched part of the movie Willard in which there is an Gambian pouched rat. What I heard was poached rat. My first thought was that they cooked this thing. The thought of eating rats was gross. Then I thought they killed it when they weren't supposed to, much like poaching deer. What she actually meant was that it's cheeks have pouches like a chipmunk. Oh ... now I understand. I just couldn't imagine eating rats. Such a wonderful thing this English language is. Sheesh!!!!

Mouses or Is It Mice?

Mouses, mices, whatever you want to call them, are wonderful little tools, but can also cause pain. Ouch!!! I have been doing a lot of layout work the past two weeks. More than usual. Now ... I use a trackball to alleviate wrist and shoulder pain, but there is no perfect solution. I can roll the ball with my fingertips, but need to use my thumb for the button. Now my thumb is hurting. I told Keyboard about this, and he suggested that I am another MouseGuy, er MouseGal. (teehee) What can I say ... some things are just easier to do with a mouse, like placing graphics. Some things are just faster with a mouse. However too much mousing, or too much keyboarding, can both cause RMIs. So ... be careful.

Mystical Computer Chips

I find it really funny to get all these e-mails that say "Forward this to 10 people and your wish will come true within 2 days." "Forward this to 5 people and you will see a miracle in 30 minutes." "Don't forward this to anyone and you will receive bad luck."

Come on already!!!! Do you really think there are mystical computer chips in this machine? I have yet to open one up and find a genie, a leprechaun, or even Christ himself!!! This machine is made of metal, plastic, and silicon!!!! Didn't you take chemistry? I don't believe in good luck or bad luck. That is just the essence of life. It has its ups and downs, it triumphs and defeats. If you really want a miracle, try praying for one. You are sure to have more success that way than thinking that pressing the forward button to all your friends will produce the desired results.

Sure, I want good things to happen for me, and I would like them to happen now rather than later. I will admit I am impatient for some things, but I know that no computer in this world that is programmed by or used by a human will ever produce such results. So give it up already!!!! Send me the nice story or poem or prayer, but leave off that end part about forwarding it. I really hope you don't believe in all that crap.

Tourism or Terrorism?

You would think that since tourism is one of our biggest industries that the government would take steps to encourage tourists to come here, not scare them away. With gas at $1/gallon and construction on our roads and bridges blocking traffic it's sure to terrorize those contemplating visiting our fair province. What were they thinking??????

An Eye for an Eye
I heard something on the news last night that appalled me. There was a newsclip about the US construction worker who was beheaded in the Middle East by soldiers. There was much talk, investigation, and many apologies for the way the US soldiers had treated the Middle Eastern POWs they had captured. Those pictures in themselves were very disturbing. I could not, however, understand the politician who said that we should not be disturbed by what these soldiers did because these Middle Eastern soldiers had already killed many US soldiers. I'm sorry, but an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. Two wrongs never make a right, and a human life is not something to take lightly or throw away. I do not believe we have the right to take another's life, regardless of what they may have done. Yes, they need to pay for their misdeeds, but I am certain there are much more humane ways of doing so. If that politician believes that people should be shot for their misdeeds, perhaps he should consider that the next time he has his hands in the pockets of the people!!!!

Time Flies

Wow! It has been a busy day. Some times I wish the days had more hours in them. Other days seem too long. I like being busy, though. Like now...gotta run. More to say tomorrow. Hope you had a good day!!

Gratuities

One of my biggest beefs is gratuities. I can't help but feel they are wrong. They are very unfair. Only certain professions are given gratuities. All the others have to slave away for no extra perks. These gratuities end up being tax-free for the most part, because no one ever claims they all. I know waitresses who can make more in one night on tips alone than I can make slaving away in a day, and I pay taxes on my earnings!!!! The only tips I ever get are "Perhaps we could do it this way." "Maybe next time we should do this first." You get the picture. The waitresses get tips for bringing food to your table. I know that takes no more than a couple minutes? How much of that tip gets to the cook who is slaving over the hot stove to cook your meal for a longer period of time or to the person who goes to buy the groceries to provide it? I think if businesses want their employees to get tips, they should increase their cost to the customer and pay their employees a little more so it doesn't appear as "a favour," and they will have to pay tax on it just like the rest of us. For this reason, I sometimes do not leave a tip or leave one that is less than would be preferred out of a sense of guilt of an expectation. Does that sound mean?

Mother's Day

I've had a great sleep so it is a great way to start off Mother's Day. My daughter brought me a beautiful single yellow rose last night. I think it will be a good day!

To all those mothers who gave of themselves unconditionally to their children, holding their hands when they were afraid, cuddling them when they were sleepy or sick, and listening to the endless stories they have to tell, Happy Mother's Day. Today, is your day of honour.

In-between

In-between is always a hard place to be, for anything. For instance:

- It is too warm for the winter clothes, yet not warm enough for the summer duds. So which jacket do you wear for this in-between weather?
- Being in-between grocery shopping days sometimes means you do without something for a few days.
- Being in-between paydays means waiting for that paycheque to buy something you need.
- Being in-between relationships can be lonely.
- Being in-between jobs is stressful.
- Being in-between the oldest and youngest child in a family also has its drawbacks.

No matter what the situation, being in-between where you were and where you want to be is a difficult place to be. Pray for strength to get you through.

Mystery Solved?

Someone sent this message to me today:

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.

Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy...

So the apples at the top of the tree think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.


So...Is this my problem? Am I one of these apples? I know for sure that I am not the one on the ground.

Venus, the Goddess of What?

I've always heard of Venus as the Goddess of Love. However, the astrologer's writing that I have been reading the past couple days refers to Venus as the Planet of Sex. We have an unusual phenomenon about to happen in the skies.

He says, "Next month, the world will experience an extremely rare astronomical event as Venus passes between Earth and the Sun, making the equivalent of an exact eclipse. Called a 'transit', the last time this occurred was Dec. 6, 1882. No living human has witnessed this event and no astrologer has felt its effects. But history is written, and because this event is so near, future history happening. The Venus transit is the astrological trump card of the year, and perhaps a defining event of our lifetime.

Now, imagine Venus, the planet of love, sex, beauty and abundance, and the planet of women, passing exactly in front of the Sun like a lens, and pouring across the Earth the concentrated rays of the Goddess. The last time this happened, we saw the spontaneous creation of the 'New Woman,' who demanded careers and public roles. "Frequently unmarried, often living with other women, they were associated with educational and political reform, the medical and legal professions, journalism, the arts, and literature," writes the Reader's Companion to Women's History...This transit will get results that may reach far beyond what we commonly think of as social issues. In the world of the male right to make endless war, the Venus transit is deeply welcome news... We live in a world where war is considered good and sex is considered bad...I propose a sexual revolution beginning with honest discussion of sex. Every revolution begins with words, and the new sexual revolution will begin when we can speak to one another about sex and pleasure in straight talk. Most of us lack the words to describe how we feel about erotic desires, much less the courage to ask for what we need. And most relationships are based as much on what is not said as they are on what is spoken openly."

WOW!!!! Look out world!!!! It sounds good to me. Let's talk dirty!!!!!!!!!!

BBQ Season

BBQ season is here again. Yahoo!! I love grilled food, at least for awhile. By about late August, I will be looking for that roast turkey again. I have an outdoor electric grill instead of a gas BBQ. It is much more convenient for me, but it is not quite as big as I would like.

The one thing I most dislike about grilling is cleaning those darn grills. When it comes to cleaning them, I admit I am anal retentive. I am very caution about food poisoning. I never use the same plate for the uncooked and cooked food. Old leftover food cooked on those grills carry a lot of contaminants. Some people believe if you just turn up the grill to heat it for the next time, the old food won't matter. Wrong!!! I am also very, very concerned about cross-contamination because of my food sensitivities, one of which is severe and hard to avoid. A friend of mine is the food inspector for the province. He was very impressed the first time he saw my BBQ. It was clean as a whistle. He commended me for it and told me how many people just don't clean them. I say Yuck!!

So...next time you use that BBQ, don't forget to scrub the grill. That's why so many people get "flu-like" symptoms in the summer and wonder where it came from. Get scrubbing!!!!

Viruses

I don't know what makes people want to create these awful viruses that cause us a great deal of grief. Is it some sort of power trip they are on to see how badly they can screw up people in the world and how many computers they can bring down? The nerve of some people's kids!!!! It is beyond my comprehension. I couldn't do such a thing. I hope the astrologer's prediction that the virus frenzy will die off toward the end of this year and into the next will prove to be true. That would be a good thing. Let's hope so anyway. My computer has been going crazy for the last two days downloading virus definitions automatically. I just don't get it!!!

$Graduation$

This June will see my youngest, my son, graduate from high school. I know on that day in June when he walks up and receives that diploma, my eyes will fill with tears. It has been a long, hard 13 years getting him there, and I will be very proud that he has accomplished this.

Now comes the expensive part. The school ring, the grad photos, the prom fees, tuxedo rental, boutineer and corsage. Good heavens, the costs never end and are phenomenal. I sure hope I win a lottery between now and then. Sheesh!!!! However, I can't wait to see him in a tux. The last time he wore one was when he was 3 and he stole the show and my heart. It was priceless. He may be 15 years older now, but I know he will still be my little boy in a grown man's body.

Muscles

My workout at the gym yesterday was great, but I believe I have discovered some muscles that I don't use much anymore. Ouch!!! My pecs are complaining the loudest. It even hurts to touch them. The next complainers are the gluts. Oh my!!! There are 3 sets of muscles in there. I think I found them all. It makes bending down a little tricky. Oh well, you know what they say "no pain, no gain." Yikes!!!

Legs Like a Horse

Today, my legs are like that of a newborn colt. Not because they are skinny and knobby, but because they are shaky and unstable. I went to the local community facility and joined again after a 3-year absence. Then I proceeded to do a workout. It felt really good to work out again. It is a 20-minute walk for me to get there and another 20 back home. I knew I was feeling the workout a bit, but didn't realize how much until I went downstairs to take the garbage out. Now, it is 5 flights of stairs to get down there. My legs were shaking with each step down. I was out the door when I realized I had forgotten my green kitchen bin. Oh no...that means I have to do these stairs again with shaky legs. So up I went, each step feeling the tired muscles. Down again. Not so bad. Then I began the ascent once more. Oh...each flight was a little harder than the one before. By the time I was halfway up flight 4, my legs began to lock up. More slowly now, I manage to pull my body up the rest of those stairs. Whew...I made it. I think I shall stay put.

Instructions Included
On my way home from the gym, I stopped at the local Canadian Tire to pick up a few items I needed. I got one of the fans I need to help cool my apartment on the sultry summer days that are soon to come. Now, these things come with instructions for assembly. I am pretty good at reading instructions and figuring things out, even though I am a visual learner. Because of this, I like to have diagrams and look at the picture on the box too. You gotta love that fine print, though, that says "Item may not be exactly as shown." Yeah...no kidding. There is a part in the box that seems entirely useless. It is in one diagram, not in the other, and not on the picture of the assembled thing in the box. Then the instructions consist of only about 2/3 of what I really need to know to put this together properly. After about 45 minutes, lots of frustration, and a few unkind words, the fan was finally together and working. Success at last, no thanks to the "instructions included."